Enduring More Than 36 Hours Aboard a Stranded Train, Passengers Praised Each Other for Their Unity

Though there was obvious distress amongst the passengers aboard the stranded Amtrak train, there was also plenty of kindness as well.

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Mobile bedside bioprinter can heal wounds

Scientists have created such a mobile skin bioprinting system -- the first of its kind -- that allows bi-layered skin to be printed directly into a wound.

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Watch Nonverbal Boy’s Delight When Firefighter Stops to Chat With Him in Sign Language

Tegan McCall could not contain his excitement when a firefighter stopped by his family's apartment doorway in order to introduce himself in sign language.

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Systems biology: Cell atlas of the aging lung

Aging promotes lung function decline and increases susceptibility to diseases of the respiratory tract. In order to understand these effects in detail, researchers analyzed the aging process in the lung at single-cell level using AI approaches.

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How Divorce Affects Children: The Good and the Not So Good

Wonder how divorce affects children? And how can divorce ever be good for a child? Divorce can be good if there is emotional, physical, or substance abuse going on in the home. If a divorce can remove the child from an abusive parent, then divorce can be a good thing. In most cases though, it's not that simple. In this article, we will look into the effects divorce has on children, and what parents can do to protect and support their children.

When Is Divorce Good?

Divorce can be good if there is emotional, physical, or substance abuse going on in the home. If a divorce can remove the child from an abusive parent, then divorce can be a good thing. In most cases though, it's not that easy. Sometimes, even when one parent believes abuse is occurring by the other parent, custody is shared equally because of a judge's decision. Divorce is complicated and usually icky. It also does not remove the other parent from the situation automatically. It is a difficult road, but if there is abuse and the abuser refuses to change and seek help, then a divorce to protect the child may be wise. Consider all angles of help and solutions before you head for divorce court though, because a divorce means that you may not have to live in the same household as the other person, but that is not necessarily true for your child. Think of solutions and ways to get help for your family so you can heal, rather than run from the problem. Because you may indeed be sending your child to a bad situation in which you have zero control. The parent with the abusive problems may not change and you are sending your child to their home without your protection. That's the unfortunate thing about divorce. You can divorce the person from yourself, but you can't always stop their contact with the kids, even if they are abusive. Seek legal help if the abuse is affecting your children and the person refuses to seek help or change. But, be aware that your battle is just beginning. Things may get worse before they get better. Do what is best for the child in the long term. If you are already divorced, skip down to "The Good News for the Divorced Parents".

The Good News for the Divorced Parents

If you are the part of the 50% of the population that has gotten divorced, know that you are not alone. Half of all marriages result in divorce. This isn't the good news. The good news is that up to 80% of kids exhibit zero negative effects from the divorce of their parents, according to a research study by Michael Lamb.((MIchael Lamb: Mothers, Fathers, Families, and Circumstances: Factors Affecting Children's Adjustment)) That means that 20% will have issues when a divorce occurs. There is help and support for those who are a part of that 20%, so there is hope for you and your child. Just keep reading to learn more and find ways to get the help your child may need.

What is Most Important to a Child of Divorced Parents?

Research, including that by Michael Lamb, shows that what's most important to a child's adjustment to divorce are:

• The quality of the relationships the child has with their parents
• The quality of the relationship of the parents following the divorce
• The resources and support provided in the situation

These three factors make a difference on whether your child can be a part of the 80% of the population of children from divorced homes who are able to successfully adjust.

Parent-Child Relationships Following Divorce

When a divorce has occurred, the quality of the relationship between the parent and child will have an enormous impact on how a child copes with the divorce. The way that a parent reacts following a divorce matters. Parents who make the effort to have quality time with their child following a divorce are helping their child adjust to the divorce. Parents who move on with their lives with little regard for their children and the time they spend with them, will likely result in their children having problems adjusting to the divorce. When maladjustment occurs (which is 20% of the population of children in divorce situations) the most common problems exhibited are (in no particular order):

• Anxiety
• Depression
• Behavior Problems
• Anger, angry outburst, problems controlling anger
• Physical violence toward others
• Lower grades in school compared to pre-divorce
• Substance abuse
• Incarceration
• Suicidal thoughts
• Feelings of guilt, shame, and blame (thinking the divorce is their fault)
• Decline in health
• Social problems

Parents who make the effort to have quality time with their child following a divorce are helping their child adjust to the situation. Loving your child is not enough when it comes to divorce. Your actions matter. Make the effort to help your child through the divorce by spending quality time with them and fostering a positive parent-child relationship.

An Example of Good Parent-Child Relationships

For example, a child named Kate is 7 years old and is an only child. She has experienced the divorce of her parents. She adjusted to the situation well though. The parents shared equal custody of Kate and they put in a great deal of effort to provide quality parenting time with Kate. Kate was able to get more one-on-one time and attention from each parent. When she spent time at her Mom's home, her Mom made an effort to do weekly cooking with Kate, so they could share the experience together and Kate could learn some cooking skills. Her Mom kept up with Kate's piano lessons and took her to her scheduled karate classes, as did her Dad. Both parents sought to spend time with Kate helping her process the divorce while still getting plenty of time and positive attention. Both parents also maintained good discipline. They did not absolve consequences when she misbehaved because they felt bad about the divorce. Instead, both knew that discipline was important to maintaining Kate's sense of structure and guidance in their homes. Their extra efforts made Kate feel loved and cared for following the divorce. She may not have wanted her parents to separate and divorce, but the love, care, and quality time she is getting from both of her parents has helped her transition. It is the consistency from both parents in providing love, quality time, structure, guidance, and discipline in their homes that has helped Kate adjust well to the divorce.

An Example of a Bad Parent-Child Relationship

Now look at the example of Eric. Eric's parents divorced when he was 12. He too is an only child. His mother has retained custody and his father has visitation. Eric goes to visit with his dad every other weekend. His dad has moved in with another woman. With his dad's focus being on this new woman and that relationship, the visits Eric has with his dad leave him feeling dejected. He yearns for time and attention from his dad. He is pained that his parents are no longer together and secretly wants them back together. With this new woman taking his dad's attention, Eric resents this new woman in his dad's life. The visits become more and more strained until Eric no longer wants to visit his dad. His dad, feeling that Eric should be able to make the choice for himself about when he should see him, lets him off the hook. He doesn't put pressure on Eric and their visits become less and less often. Meanwhile, Eric feels rejected by his dad, who never even tries to convince him to come visit when he cancels. Eric's relational problem with his dad causes anger to rise in him. He acts out at school more and has gotten into several fights at school. His mom is doing her best, but she can't force Eric's dad to provide the attention that Eric needs. His dad loves him, but the quality of the time they have spent together following the divorce is less than mediocre. The lack of a quality relationship and time with his dad has led to problems in Eric's life including uncontrolled anger, resentment, and anxiety. His adjustment to the divorce has not been good because of the failure on his dad's part to make an effort to maintain a quality relationship. Eric's mom is looking to get him in to see a counselor to deal with his anger, resentment, and anxiety.

The Relationship Between the Parents Following Divorce

The quality of the relationship between the parents matters too following a divorce. The ability for both individuals to cooperatively parent their child matters greatly and affects the adjustment of their child following a divorce. If the parents continue to argue, yell, and scream at one another when they interact following a divorce, then the child is going to be affected. It causes anxiety, depression, anger, and sadness (among other things) to have parents who cannot communicate well following a divorce. Disagreements are likely to happen following a divorce. Parents each have their own household, their own rules, and their own way of doing things. This will lead to disagreements in parenting. How the disagreements are handled matters. Parents who are divorced must make an extra effort to use good conflict resolution skills. The ability for parents to have civil and kind relationships with their ex using good communication skills makes a difference in their child's adjustment to divorce.

An Example of Divorced Parents Who Get Along

Pam and Matt got divorced a year ago. While they were married, they argued and yelled a great deal in front of their kids. Following the divorce, they went to counseling to work on their conflict resolution skills. They have both made an effort to not resort to yelling. They communicate primarily though texts regarding the children and both make and effort to keep the messages kind, about the children, and solution oriented. They know that they can't avoid speaking or seeing one another completely if they want their children to adjust to the situation. Therefore, they make an effort when they see one another at baseball games and other activities with the kids that they talk kindly to one another. They don't choose to ignore one another. Instead, they keep conversations on a surface level in public and maintain positive interactions in front of the kids. They had some issues come up with the kid's schedule and a need for change. Pam wanted to switch their schedule to week on and week off so that her workplace could better accommodate her schedule. The every other day schedule was not working well for her workplace. Matt instantly balked at the idea of change. However, rather than argue he asked for her reasons and said he would keep an open mind. Matt decided to agree to the schedule change, as it was more than just helping Pam out. It was allowing for Pam to have more time at home with the kids during her scheduled weeks with them. This way, she wouldn't have to worry about working while the kids were at her home. Doing what is in the best interest of the kids and getting along together is important to both Pam and Matt. Their efforts to work on having positive conflict resolution skills has helped their children adjust to the divorce. The kids no longer experience yelling matches between their parents. They are also no longer subjected to public arguments, which the couple had done while they were married. They maintain positive, kind, and polite communications in public for the sake of their kids and the long term parenting relationship between their ex spouse. Nobody wins in a situation of divorce, but you can get along. Matt and Pam are an example of a couple who are making the effort to get along for the sake of their kids. They couldn't make their marriage work, but they have set up new boundaries and learned better conflict resolution skills that have made their co-parenting relationship work well. Not only is it working well, but the kids no longer experience the yelling, screaming, and arguing that they had in the past.

An Example of Divorced Parents Who Are Doing It Wrong

Mick and Jane were married for eight years. They have two children together. They both cheated during the marriage. They both have moved on with new relationships. The cheating and new relationships aren't the real problem though. The real problem that is affecting the children is how Mick and Jane treat one another in front of the children. The interactions, although few these days, are hostile, angry, and terse. The conversations tend to end with one person walking away because they can't seem to agree on anything. The lawyers are making a good deal of money on this situation because Mick and Jane want to go back to court for every issue including who gets the kids at Christmas, what school the kids should attend, should they be allowed to ride the school bus, and should the kids be allowed to spend time at their grandparents. Everything in their kid's lives becomes a topic of debate. Not only between Mick and Jane, but also between their attorneys. Mick and Jane don't make any efforts to keep these matters private either. Instead, they put the kids in the middle. For example, Jane told the kids that she has a trip to Disney World planned for them at Christmas and their dad won't let them go. In reality that is his scheduled time. However, Jane says it is the only time she was able to get off from work. The battles are constant. In the mix of it all are two young children, ages 5 and 7. They hear the arguments, they feel the tension, and they are not adjusting well to the divorce. The 5 year old has begun to wet the bed and suck her thumb again. The 7 year old has become sullen and angry. He is acting out at school and at both homes. The parents blame one another for the problems their children are having, rather than working to help their children. This family is spiraling down into more problems for both children. They aren't getting the help they need from their parents or a professional. They are witnessing arguments and battles between parents that they should never experience. Mick and Jane are an example of parents who are failing at co-parenting. They are both so fixated on themselves and "winning" with their attorneys at the sake of their children. Their children are the ones who will suffer the most. Children don't get to re-do their childhood. The pain, anger, and suffering these children are experiencing will not change until their parents change their ways and all of them get the help and counseling they need.

How to Co-Parent Successfully

Parents who can't get along after a divorce are setting up their children to be a part of the 20% of kids of divorce who don't adjust well. They will develop problems socially, mentally, and/or physically that can't be easily fixed. The worse the co-parenting relationship, the worse it is for the kids. Parents and their ability to co-parent healthily matters to their kids mental, physical, and social well-being now and into the future. If you are divorced and have issues co-parenting, read the article Coparenting 101: 17 Helpful Strategies for Divorced Parents. You will find tips on how to start co-parenting more successfully starting today. If you struggle to get along with your ex, find a counselor or mediator who can help you develop a better co-parent relationship.

Resources & Support for Divorced Parents

The parent-child and parent-parent relationships following divorce affect a child and their adjustment to life and their new situation. These two factors are the most important when it comes to children surviving divorce successfully and adjusting in a healthy manner. The third component that affects children and their adjustment to a divorce is the support provided in their situation. This is the support outside of their parents. Are the kids getting the counseling that they need? Every child who goes through the divorce of their parents should get help from a counselor, support group, or professional trained to assist children in adjusting to divorce. Divorce Care 4 Kids is an organization that hosts groups all around the world for kids who experience the divorce of their parents. These groups are low cost and often free. The classes are typically 13 weeks total, meeting once a week. The groups help children adjust to divorce and address such topics as the divorce not being the child's fault, emotions they may be feeling, and how to communicate with their parents about the divorce. Go to their website and type in your zip code or country (if outside of the United States) to find a group near you. Your child did not ask for the divorce. Get them the help that they need to help them process and adjust to the situation. Other support that matters to kids and can help them adjust to the situation is extended family and friends. Their support, kindness, and love in your situation is also helping your child. They need the support, emotionally, physically, and mentally, as much as you do. Reach out for support from your loved ones. Not everyone will likely be helpful, but for those that are helpful embrace their help and thank them. Not only are they helping you, but they are also helping your child. Check out my other article on this topic: How to Raise Happy, Healthy Kids After Going Through a Divorce for more tips and info on how to help your child adjust following divorce.

Bonus: Things to Consider Before Getting a Divorce

According to The Institute for Family Studies, which studied 2,000 divorced couples, the top three reasons that people divorce are:((The Institute for Family Studies: Reasons People Give for Divorce))

• A lack of commitment
• Too much conflict or arguing
• Infidelity or extramarital affairs

In reality, abuse being named as the cause for divorce is a small percentage. If the reason is lack of commitment in your situation, then seek some help. Don't give up on the marriage.

Seek Professional Help from a Marriage Counselor

Read "Everything You Need to Know Before Visiting a Marriage Counselor" for help in your search of a marital counselor. Seek professional help before you seek out a divorce attorney. You may be saving a relationship and a family at the same time. When the reason for divorce is arguing, many couples believe that getting divorced will help the children because they will be exposed to less arguing. The constant yelling, screaming, and arguments can cease with a divorce. However, has healing or resolution really occurred? You may be teaching your child that rather than work through a tough situation, you leave.

Improve Your Conflict Resolution Skills

Who is to say you are going to get along better after a divorce? Are your conflict resolution skills going to magically improve when you get a divorce? What about the idea of working on your conflict resolutions skills before you pursue a divorce? The problem is not the arguing. The problem is your conflict resolution skills. You can have disagreements. Those are normal in any relationship. How you handle the disagreement is what is most important. It is important to you, your spouse, and your children witnessing the disagreement that good conflict resolution skills are practiced in your household. If you can learn healthy conflict resolution skills for your marriage, you can become an example to your child of how to handle disagreements in a healthy manner. You may also be saving your marriage at the same time. Check out this article for practical tips on conflict resolution: The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach Again, if you can't seem to develop these skills alone or as a couple, then seek professional help from a marriage counselor.

Conclusion

There are no guarantees that your child will survive your divorce unscathed. However, 80% of all kids are able to adjust to divorce without any major problems. For the 20%, there is help available. Professional help is imperative. What also will help your child are the two most important factors following a divorce: healthy co-parenting relationships and quality time with parent-child. Your job as a parent is to get along with your ex for the sake of your child. If you struggle to find common ground, then involve a mediator and keep communications to a minimum outside of the mediator. Also, work to develop better conflict resolution skills to facilitate a better co-parenting relationship long term. Your relationship with your child following the divorce matters. Making the effort to spend quality time with your child is important. It will affect your child's ability to adjust to divorce. Do everything you can to foster a healthy, happy, and functional relationship with your child. Not only for their sake and their development, but also for the sake of your long term relationship with them.

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Is alcohol consumption more helpful than harmful? It depends on your age

Studies of health effects of alcohol consumption may underestimate the risks of imbibing, particularly for younger people, according to a new study.

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Not all sleep is equal when it comes to cleaning the brain

New research shows how the depth of sleep can impact our brain's ability to efficiently wash away waste and toxic proteins. Because sleep often becomes increasingly lighter and more disrupted as we become older, the study reinforces and potentially explains the links between aging, sleep deprivation, and heightened risk for Alzheimer's disease.

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In Preparation for 10-Hour Flight, Thoughtful Mom Hands Out Goodie Bags on Behalf of Her 4-Month-old

These airplane passengers were surprised when a young mother went above and beyond the call of duty to ensure they weren't bothered by her newborn child.

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Comparing antioxidants levels in tomatoes of different color

Greater levels of specific antioxidants were associated with particular colorations of tomato fruit. These genotypes could be used either directly as food or in breeding programs to recover greater levels of functional compounds such as carotenoids, tocopherols, anthocyanins, and vitamin C.

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8 Tips for Coping with Anxiety During the Midlife Crisis

Let's face it: having anxiety sucks. It's stressful to constantly worry about stuff that may or may not happen in the future. What if you're coping with anxiety while also dealing with a midlife crisis? If you're in such a situation, it's very important to know what you're in for. Dealing with one of these two problems on its own is already challenging enough, but combine them together and you've got a pretty serious storm incoming. If you are here and can already see the dark clouds approaching, then you'll definitely want to read these 10 actionable tips on how to better deal with your anxiety during your midlife crisis.

1. Realize That Having a Midlife Crisis Is Normal

Have you ever heard of the U-curve in happiness? It might actually be one of the reasons you're reading this article right now. See, happiness has been researched a lot, and the U-curve has been a consistent observation in a lot of these studies. I think the best example of this U-curve was observed in the Gallup World Poll survey data. This is the biggest worldwide survey on happiness, and it's published every year. In a 2016 paper, Carol Graham and Julia Ruiz Pozuelo found that the U-curve in happiness can be observed in almost every country.((Brooking: Happiness, Stress, and Age: How the U-Curve Varies across People and Places)) This U-curve is really simple to understand. Your happiness is likely going to reach rock-bottom levels during your midlife crisis: What does this U-curve have to do with your anxiety or your midlife crisis? Well, it's simple: A midlife crisis is much more common than you might think. Having said that, let's dive right into the second tip.

2. Know That You're Not the Only One That's Struggling

We are all pilots of our life. The analogy is that we are piloting a plane filled with passengers (think about your family, friends and significant other). What is your main objective as the pilot? To give the impression to your passengers that you are in full control and that everything is going smooth and efficient. The thing is, we are all pilots of our own flights, and we all hit some turbulence every now and then. As good pilots, we are taught not to blow the alarm and initiate emergency procedures every time we encounter some turbulence. No way, we need to provide our passengers with a nice and relaxing flight. We think we need to create the impression that everything is under control. It's important to know that everybody is a pilot and that everybody is trying to create the impression that everything is under control. In reality, however, it's a fact that every pilot will bump into some turbulence during their flights (their life). That's what causes this U-shape in happiness. Just like you, others are also hesitant to show their anxiety and worries to the public. I'm willing to bet you're reading this article right now, without having told anybody else that you're dealing with these challenges. The thing is, denying your midlife crisis doesn't make your anxiety go away. My tip to you is to know that you're not alone, and that a lot of people all over the world are facing the same feelings of anxiety during a midlife crisis. Therefore, it's good to open up about your anxiety to people that are close to you.

3. Don't Compare Yourself to the Person That You're "Supposed to Be"

This one is extremely important. Some people spend their whole lives trying to fulfill expectations, whether they come from their parents, their peers or society. They work their asses of every day, and end up feeling miserable. Why? Because they are trying to meet expectations that don't fit their passions or their purpose in life. It's important to stop comparing yourself to those expectations. A friend of mine has studied medicine for 8 years now. Her parents applied her to study medicine and she just went along with it without being critical of this decision. At this point, she's slowly becoming aware that she's only working hard because that's what others are expecting of her. She recently told me that she's unhappy. Are you finding yourself in a similar boat? Then stop comparing yourself to the person that you're "supposed to be" and start being the person that you want to be.

4. Find out What You Really Want in Life

What do you want out of life? This question is very common, but makes you think about what you truly want. Answers are usually a variation or combination of the following:

• Success
• Feeling loved
• Having a positive impact
• Fortune

If you’re reading this, you’re probably thinking: “I want everything you just said!” It makes sense, right? Who doesn’t want to feel loved, or be successful? I want to challenge you to think further. Why do you want all these things out of life? I’m willing to bet you’ll come up with an answer along the lines of: “I just want to be happy”. You see, these goals in our lives are only there because we have reason to believe that we’ll be happy when we actually reach them. However, what a lot of people don't realize is that you should already be happy when you're chasing these goals! I've been tracking my happiness for over 5 years now. Before I started to track my happiness, I wanted – among others – to become rich and financially free. Why? Because I was working a job that I absolutely hated. During the last 5 years, my happiness has moved quite a bit (this is an understatement). Throughout this time, I constantly forced myself to think about these questions: What do I want out of life? What makes me happy? I’ve learned that it’s not so much that I wanted to be rich. I just wanted to not have to work a job that I didn’t like. Instead of focusing on a vague pipe-dream (quitting my horrible job with enough money in the bank), I focused on actively steering my life in the best direction right away. What I did? I steered my career in a different direction, despite the lower pay. I focused on being happy now, instead of only planning for my future happiness. What I'm trying to say is that it’s truly the journey that matters much more than the destination. You can spend your whole life working towards something that you think you want (being rich, successful or having a great career), while you should really focus on being happy now! Life is just too short to only focus on eventually reaching happiness. You have to start loving what you do NOW. Don't continue to postpone your happiness.

5 Get out of Your Comfort Zone

It’s usually when we find ourselves in a difficult situation – without being able to fall back to your usual life – that we truly find out who we are and what we want. It’s really simple when you think about it. You only know who you are, what you’re capable of and what you are made of when you’re tested. A lot of us (me including) spent our career just going with the flow. We don’t question the choices that we make, or the ones that are made for us. We simply nod and move in whatever direction our managers, colleagues and friends want us to go. As a result, almost everybody will reach a phase during which you find out that what you've been doing isn't something that you want to continue. My advice? Take a step outside your comfort zone, and try something that you've never done before:

• Set a different goal. Instead of focusing on your career, spend time on a new hobby instead.
• Go on a multi-day hike on your own.
• If you haven't already, open up about your anxiety with friends or family.

It's important to try something you've never done before. It doesn't have to be something drastic. You can only find what you're missing if you try something new. This article can also help you: Is It Really Better to Step Out of Your Comfort Zone? This shares a lot of common ground with tip 3. We have to break free from who we are "supposed" to be.

6. Be Grateful for What You Already Have

Think about what you've already accomplished, rather than the things that you still want to do. It's important to realize what great things you already have going in your life. Think of your accomplishments, the people you live with, the lives you have a positive influence on. These are all great things that you should feel grateful for. The human race is difficult to please. We are constantly looking for more, without already appreciating what we have. This "greed" can keep us from being happy. My tip to you is to focus on the good things that you've got going on when you are anxious about your midlife crisis. Remember that a pessimist sees the negatives or the difficulty in every opportunity whereas an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. You need to try and tackle this challenging time from a positive angle. Focus on what you already have instead of what you're currently missing, and go from there. Here're some inspirations for you to stay grateful every day: 60 Things To Be Thankful For In Life

7. Keep a Journal of Your Journey

If you still have the opinion that journaling is for little girls, then you should wake up. I've been journaling for over 5 years now, and the amount of knowledge I've gained during this time is priceless. Keeping a journal of what's eating me has given me a lot more self-awareness, to the point where I was better able to navigate through the challenging times. This has happened more often than I can remember. Journaling is one of the most underrated things you can do to get to know yourself better. So when you're done reading this article, I'd really suggest you to write down what you're dealing with.

• What are you anxious about?
• What are you unhappy with?
• What do you want out of life?
• How do you want to get there?

These are all critical questions that you can answer in your journal. Whenever you're feeling anxious again, you can open up your journal and add your latest thoughts in there as well. Or you can reread your old thoughts in order to better understand what's causing your anxiety. Getting started with journaling is not hard. You'll soon find out that a lot of different people find value and purpose by journaling.((Tracking Happiness: How To Start Journaling (With Actual Stories Of Others))

8. See a Therapist

This might not be the tip you are hoping to see here, but it's dead-simple: Therapy can help you in facing your anxiety during a midlife crisis. You should not feel too proud to go see a therapist. The negative stigma of seeing a therapist should not stop you from finding the help you need. Think about it: there's no taboo on seeing a doctor when you are in physical pain, right? Then you definitely shouldn't be anxious about going to therapy for something that your emotionally struggling with. Bottling up your feelings is the last thing that you want to do right now. If you find a therapist that you can openly share your problems with and one that understands you, then just go for it.

Final Thoughts

The most important thing to remember when dealing with anxiety during your midlife crisis is to know that you're not alone. The negative feelings that you're having are normal and a lot of other people are experiencing them as well. In order to better deal with these feelings, I want you to:

• Stop comparing yourself to what you are supposed to be.
• Find out what you really want out of life.
• Get out of your comfort zone for a while, and try something different. For example, go on a multi-day trip by yourself or open up about your anxiety to your family or friends.
• Face your anxiety by focusing on the positive things that you already have around you. Don't just look at the negative side of your situation.
• Keep a journal and write down your thoughts. Find out what you want out of life and write down how you want to get there. You can then later fall back to your journal when you're anxious again. Don't bottle up your emotions.
• When you continue to be anxious about your midlife crisis, consider speaking to a therapist.

More Resources About Dealing with Midlife Crisis

• How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late
• Do You Have to Give Everything Up to Get a Fresh Start?
• How to Survive a Midlife Crisis in Men (the Definitive Guide)
• Midlife Crisis for Women: How a Midlife Crisis Makes You a Better Person
• 10 Ways To Find Strength If You’re In The Middle Of A Lifetime Struggle

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8 Tips for Coping with Anxiety During the Midlife Crisis

Let's face it: having anxiety sucks. It's stressful to constantly worry about stuff that may or may not happen in the future. What if you're coping with anxiety while also dealing with a midlife crisis? If you're in such a situation, it's very important to know what you're in for. Dealing with one of these two problems on its own is already challenging enough, but combine them together and you've got a pretty serious storm incoming. If you are here and can already see the dark clouds approaching, then you'll definitely want to read these 10 actionable tips on how to better deal with your anxiety during your midlife crisis.

1. Realize That Having a Midlife Crisis Is Normal

Have you ever heard of the U-curve in happiness? It might actually be one of the reasons you're reading this article right now. See, happiness has been researched a lot, and the U-curve has been a consistent observation in a lot of these studies. I think the best example of this U-curve was observed in the Gallup World Poll survey data. This is the biggest worldwide survey on happiness, and it's published every year. In a 2016 paper, Carol Graham and Julia Ruiz Pozuelo found that the U-curve in happiness can be observed in almost every country.((Brooking: Happiness, Stress, and Age: How the U-Curve Varies across People and Places)) This U-curve is really simple to understand. Your happiness is likely going to reach rock-bottom levels during your midlife crisis: What does this U-curve have to do with your anxiety or your midlife crisis? Well, it's simple: A midlife crisis is much more common than you might think. Having said that, let's dive right into the second tip.

2. Know That You're Not the Only One That's Struggling

We are all pilots of our life. The analogy is that we are piloting a plane filled with passengers (think about your family, friends and significant other). What is your main objective as the pilot? To give the impression to your passengers that you are in full control and that everything is going smooth and efficient. The thing is, we are all pilots of our own flights, and we all hit some turbulence every now and then. As good pilots, we are taught not to blow the alarm and initiate emergency procedures every time we encounter some turbulence. No way, we need to provide our passengers with a nice and relaxing flight. We think we need to create the impression that everything is under control. It's important to know that everybody is a pilot and that everybody is trying to create the impression that everything is under control. In reality, however, it's a fact that every pilot will bump into some turbulence during their flights (their life). That's what causes this U-shape in happiness. Just like you, others are also hesitant to show their anxiety and worries to the public. I'm willing to bet you're reading this article right now, without having told anybody else that you're dealing with these challenges. The thing is, denying your midlife crisis doesn't make your anxiety go away. My tip to you is to know that you're not alone, and that a lot of people all over the world are facing the same feelings of anxiety during a midlife crisis. Therefore, it's good to open up about your anxiety to people that are close to you.

3. Don't Compare Yourself to the Person That You're "Supposed to Be"

This one is extremely important. Some people spend their whole lives trying to fulfill expectations, whether they come from their parents, their peers or society. They work their asses of every day, and end up feeling miserable. Why? Because they are trying to meet expectations that don't fit their passions or their purpose in life. It's important to stop comparing yourself to those expectations. A friend of mine has studied medicine for 8 years now. Her parents applied her to study medicine and she just went along with it without being critical of this decision. At this point, she's slowly becoming aware that she's only working hard because that's what others are expecting of her. She recently told me that she's unhappy. Are you finding yourself in a similar boat? Then stop comparing yourself to the person that you're "supposed to be" and start being the person that you want to be.

4. Find out What You Really Want in Life

What do you want out of life? This question is very common, but makes you think about what you truly want. Answers are usually a variation or combination of the following:

• Success
• Feeling loved
• Having a positive impact
• Fortune

If you’re reading this, you’re probably thinking: “I want everything you just said!” It makes sense, right? Who doesn’t want to feel loved, or be successful? I want to challenge you to think further. Why do you want all these things out of life? I’m willing to bet you’ll come up with an answer along the lines of: “I just want to be happy”. You see, these goals in our lives are only there because we have reason to believe that we’ll be happy when we actually reach them. However, what a lot of people don't realize is that you should already be happy when you're chasing these goals! I've been tracking my happiness for over 5 years now. Before I started to track my happiness, I wanted – among others – to become rich and financially free. Why? Because I was working a job that I absolutely hated. During the last 5 years, my happiness has moved quite a bit (this is an understatement). Throughout this time, I constantly forced myself to think about these questions: What do I want out of life? What makes me happy? I’ve learned that it’s not so much that I wanted to be rich. I just wanted to not have to work a job that I didn’t like. Instead of focusing on a vague pipe-dream (quitting my horrible job with enough money in the bank), I focused on actively steering my life in the best direction right away. What I did? I steered my career in a different direction, despite the lower pay. I focused on being happy now, instead of only planning for my future happiness. What I'm trying to say is that it’s truly the journey that matters much more than the destination. You can spend your whole life working towards something that you think you want (being rich, successful or having a great career), while you should really focus on being happy now! Life is just too short to only focus on eventually reaching happiness. You have to start loving what you do NOW. Don't continue to postpone your happiness.

5 Get out of Your Comfort Zone

It’s usually when we find ourselves in a difficult situation – without being able to fall back to your usual life – that we truly find out who we are and what we want. It’s really simple when you think about it. You only know who you are, what you’re capable of and what you are made of when you’re tested. A lot of us (me including) spent our career just going with the flow. We don’t question the choices that we make, or the ones that are made for us. We simply nod and move in whatever direction our managers, colleagues and friends want us to go. As a result, almost everybody will reach a phase during which you find out that what you've been doing isn't something that you want to continue. My advice? Take a step outside your comfort zone, and try something that you've never done before:

• Set a different goal. Instead of focusing on your career, spend time on a new hobby instead.
• Go on a multi-day hike on your own.
• If you haven't already, open up about your anxiety with friends or family.

It's important to try something you've never done before. It doesn't have to be something drastic. You can only find what you're missing if you try something new. This article can also help you: Is It Really Better to Step Out of Your Comfort Zone? This shares a lot of common ground with tip 3. We have to break free from who we are "supposed" to be.

6. Be Grateful for What You Already Have

Think about what you've already accomplished, rather than the things that you still want to do. It's important to realize what great things you already have going in your life. Think of your accomplishments, the people you live with, the lives you have a positive influence on. These are all great things that you should feel grateful for. The human race is difficult to please. We are constantly looking for more, without already appreciating what we have. This "greed" can keep us from being happy. My tip to you is to focus on the good things that you've got going on when you are anxious about your midlife crisis. Remember that a pessimist sees the negatives or the difficulty in every opportunity whereas an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. You need to try and tackle this challenging time from a positive angle. Focus on what you already have instead of what you're currently missing, and go from there. Here're some inspirations for you to stay grateful every day: 60 Things To Be Thankful For In Life

7. Keep a Journal of Your Journey

If you still have the opinion that journaling is for little girls, then you should wake up. I've been journaling for over 5 years now, and the amount of knowledge I've gained during this time is priceless. Keeping a journal of what's eating me has given me a lot more self-awareness, to the point where I was better able to navigate through the challenging times. This has happened more often than I can remember. Journaling is one of the most underrated things you can do to get to know yourself better. So when you're done reading this article, I'd really suggest you to write down what you're dealing with.

• What are you anxious about?
• What are you unhappy with?
• What do you want out of life?
• How do you want to get there?

These are all critical questions that you can answer in your journal. Whenever you're feeling anxious again, you can open up your journal and add your latest thoughts in there as well. Or you can reread your old thoughts in order to better understand what's causing your anxiety. Getting started with journaling is not hard. You'll soon find out that a lot of different people find value and purpose by journaling.((Tracking Happiness: How To Start Journaling (With Actual Stories Of Others))

8. See a Therapist

This might not be the tip you are hoping to see here, but it's dead-simple: Therapy can help you in facing your anxiety during a midlife crisis. You should not feel too proud to go see a therapist. The negative stigma of seeing a therapist should not stop you from finding the help you need. Think about it: there's no taboo on seeing a doctor when you are in physical pain, right? Then you definitely shouldn't be anxious about going to therapy for something that your emotionally struggling with. Bottling up your feelings is the last thing that you want to do right now. If you find a therapist that you can openly share your problems with and one that understands you, then just go for it.

Final Thoughts

The most important thing to remember when dealing with anxiety during your midlife crisis is to know that you're not alone. The negative feelings that you're having are normal and a lot of other people are experiencing them as well. In order to better deal with these feelings, I want you to:

• Stop comparing yourself to what you are supposed to be.
• Find out what you really want out of life.
• Get out of your comfort zone for a while, and try something different. For example, go on a multi-day trip by yourself or open up about your anxiety to your family or friends.
• Face your anxiety by focusing on the positive things that you already have around you. Don't just look at the negative side of your situation.
• Keep a journal and write down your thoughts. Find out what you want out of life and write down how you want to get there. You can then later fall back to your journal when you're anxious again. Don't bottle up your emotions.
• When you continue to be anxious about your midlife crisis, consider speaking to a therapist.

More Resources About Dealing with Midlife Crisis

• How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late
• Do You Have to Give Everything Up to Get a Fresh Start?
• How to Survive a Midlife Crisis in Men (the Definitive Guide)
• Midlife Crisis for Women: How a Midlife Crisis Makes You a Better Person
• 10 Ways To Find Strength If You’re In The Middle Of A Lifetime Struggle

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Man Buys $540 Worth of Cookies So Girl Scouts Can Get Out of the Cold Weather

This guy didn't care about spending $540 on Girl Scout cookies – he just didn't want these two girls to have to stand out in the cold.

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Midlife Crisis for Women: How a Midlife Crisis Makes You a Better Person

A couple of years ago, the wife of my cousin “snapped.” She recently crossed the north side of forty-five, had a teenage son, a good job, steady marriage, comfortable living. That is, your perfect epitome of a “normal life.” Yet, something was “off” with her, a common friend told me. And indeed—because they live abroad, when I saw her, I barely recognized her. She looked great, no doubt—courtesy of the combination of a fitness instructor, a tanning bed and regular visits to an aesthetic clinic. She could always better-quality things too but that’s not what the “shocking” change was. “I feel different,” she told me. “I have more self-respect now and want to take a better care of myself. I refuse to feel gloomy that my life is over.” To the outsiders, though, it looked like she was having a midlife crisis and entering menopause. Everyone in the family expected her to run off with a hunky barista next, so that she can feel young again for a bit. Well, this didn’t happen (to some people’s disappointment perhaps) but the stereotype prevailed. If it wasn’t this year, may be next she will have an affair, I was told by her “friend.” Otherwise, why go through such a sudden transformation if you don’t want to prove that forty-five is the new thirty, and that you still “got it”? It is the typical way of thinking indeed—the midlife crisis narrative fueled by the image of a guy buying a luxury yacht all of the sudden one day and sailing into the sunset with his 20-something new girlfriend. Or a mid-aged woman finding a younger fling, so that she can feel wanted and sexy again. This social cliché paints a picture of a reckless behavior—of overspending, unfaithfulness and an uncontrollable desire to turn back the clock of time. And all this is presumably fueled by a bubbling frustration the person feels underneath—because of dreams unmet, goals unrealized and life insignificant enough to leave a dent in the universe. But all this begs the question: Just because something is a decades-old stereotype, does it make it true today? Does midlife foster more carelessness or thoughtfulness? Let’s look under the hood, shall we?

What is Midlife Crisis Exactly?

The most widespread definition of “midlife crisis” is:((Wikipedia: Midlife Crisis))

“A transition of identity and self-confidence that can occur in middle-aged individuals, typically 45–64 years old. The phenomenon is described as a psychological crisis brought about by events that highlight a person's growing age, inevitable mortality, and possibly shortcomings of accomplishments in life. This may produce feelings of depression, remorse, and anxiety, or the desire to achieve youthfulness or make drastic changes to their current lifestyle.”

First coined in an article by the Canadian psychoanalyst Elliott Jaques in 1965, the term has quickly become a mainstream explanation for anyone who “snaps” after they pass forty. “Must-be-the-midlife-crisis” adage makes it all easier for us to understand and label this transitional period as something which seems more of a catastrophe than a catharsis. An interesting thing to note is that this stage in our lives is actually not experienced at the big four-oh point. It’s at a bit later. According to the research published on The Conversation,((The Conversation: Hard evidence: is the midlife crisis real?)) it manifests during different times for men and women. For the former group, it is between thirty-five and forty-five, and for the latter—it’s between forty-five and fifty-four. Other studies place lock-bottom around fifty for both genders.

Symptoms of a Midlife Crisis

As described in the common literature, the “typical” symptoms of midlife crisis are:((Live About: What Are the Causes of a Midlife Crisis?))

• Feelings as depression and disappointment
• Anger at oneself for not being as successful as the Joneses
• Nostalgia about the younger years
• Dissatisfaction with one’s life in general
• A sense of pressure that there is much you still want to do and shrinking timespan
• A heightened need for a change or “something different.”
• Doubts about your achievements and the choices you have made so far
• A desire for passion, intimacy and to feel wanted again

Simply put, you may feel progressively but somewhat unfoundedly unhappy. Life appears to be hollowed out of meaning. It is not a sunny place, that’s for sure.

Why Is the Midlife Crisis Getting Such a Bad Reputation?

Going through the typical manifestations of a midlife crisis, it is easy to understand why it is not a time one should excitedly anticipate or cheer for. On the top of the above-mentioned signs, there are deeper and darker waters running underneath your sense of unhappiness. The period marks the beginning of the sunset of your life. It’s the stage where you start to notice more vividly the streaks of grey hair, the wrinkles, the sagging skin, or your feeling out of place amongst younger crowds. The realization of old age creeping slowly on you is positively not an occasion to sing “Hakuna Matata.” So, in a sometimes-desperate attempt to summon back Youth, some may embark on, as shown in the movies, a rather reckless behavior—such as overspending, excessive working out, or a fling with the young hot gardener in a “Desperate Housewives”-style. In this vain, remember also the character of Diane Lane in “Unfaithful” where she starts an affair with a sexy Oliver Martinez—out of boredom perhaps, being the wife of a well-off businessman, or because of something else maybe. Yes, you guessed it—it is called midlife crisis. Say no more. Ah, the stereotypes of the Hollywood movies! Most importantly, however, midlife crisis came about to be associated with a dip in happiness, as described by the famed “U-shape” of Happiness. One of the first pieces of research supporting this idea is from 2008 by two economics professors—David Blanchflower and Andrew Oswald.((David Blanchflower and Andrew Oswald: Is well-being U-shaped over the life cycle?)) Using data from five hundred thousand people from the U.S. and Europe, they evidenced that the lowest point of subjective well-being is around the 46 mark. After this, it begins to increase. But it’s unclear what exactly causes this—there seem to be different explanations floating around. The prevailing rationale seems to be that it’s due to “unmet expectations” —which are, naturally, accompanied by the gloomy feeling of depression and a sense that we have wasted our lives without achieving anything truly remarkable. Therefore, looking in totality at the above, a rather joyless picture emerges—a period which feels more like the Dark Ages—to be dreaded rather than celebrated as the new chapter of one’s life. But again—is it really all grey?

Why the Hype is Not True

The evidence from studies has been somewhat controversial on whether midlife crisis really exists. Some research has shown that midlife transitional period does exist but not at a specific point in time.((Gail Sheehy: Passages: Predictable Crises of Adult Life)) It’s more part of the ageing and maturing process which happens gradually during adulthood. It is more a hype about the hype, an expectation that creates a “reality,” which is far not as dramatic as we have been led to believe.((Shek, D. T. L. (1996): Midlife crisis in Chinese men and women.)) Other recent tests also chime in with a similar tone—two Canadian longitudinal studies found that, when accounting for variables as health, employment and martial status, our happiness tends to rise, not fall, during adulthood. That is, people in their 40s are generally more joyful and satisfied than people in their 20s or 30s.((Dev Psychol. : Up, not down: The age curve in happiness from early adulthood to midlife in two longitudinal studies.)) A piece in Psychology Today magazine says:((Psychology Today: Worried About a Midlife Crisis? Don't. There's No Such Thing))

“There is virtually no data to support the assertion that the midlife crisis is a universal experience. Those who conduct research in this area continue to wonder why this myth lingers when we keep failing to find evidence for it in our data.”

A U-shape of happiness may exist, but it doesn’t necessarily translate to a crisis. And there is no proof that the experiences are universal to all people too. Decades ago, by the time women hit their forties, they were considered to be well into their mature, older years even. They would marry in their twenties, have kids almost right away and twenty years later, they will be sending them to college and going through the empty-nest syndrome. Now, we live longer, we have kids later in life, often after thirty-five. The way our career and personal life trajectories unfold is very different. So, science is not always right. Do not fall a victim to a self-fulfilling prophecy. Just because we are told to expect something dreadful, it doesn’t mean it will happen.

What Midlife “Crisis” is Really About

Although many may be embracing themselves for the dark times that are coming, it’s important not to develop tunnel-vision and to only focus on the bad. Midlife transition is part of the natural ageing process that everyone goes through—it is about the physical changes to your body. Apart from the outer shell, it may also change our inner landscapes—in a positive way, I believe. Here are some of the benefits to the midlife transformation:

A great time to take stock or go through a life audit

You can reflect on what has worked, what has not. Once you re-assess the past, you can have a better idea of your strengths and how to put them to work in the most efficient way in the future.

A chance to change course.

When you feel the imminence of old age and realise that time is limited, you learn to appreciate it more. There is no deluding yourself that you have unlimited number of years left—so, it is a sort of “Now-or-Never” moment in your life.

Realize that there is no point to sweat over the petty stuff

You can see the bigger picture now and are able to figure out that some things are just not worth your energy, anger and time. Therefore, you can really focus on achieving your goals with less distractions.

An opportunity to let go of the past and everything that affected you negatively

You have lived long enough now to fully recognize that the past is not a predictor of the future. Leave it where it belongs. Therefore, midlife is also a time for a mental cleanse.

A chance to give yourself some proper self-care

This is more relevant for those with grown children. It is finally You time. All the years you have been neglecting yourself to be a good mom, wife, housewife—it’s finally the time to give yourself some appreciation.

A chance to seek out new opportunities, to break the old habits and patterns and to make a lifestyle change

It is high time you start going to the gym as you have always wanted—one New Year’s resolution after another. It is also the period to attempt quitting smoking, eating better or reading more. Whatever it is that you want to improve—use the midlife years as a “wake-up” call to do so.

An opportunity to ask yourself how to make your life count

Finally, according to the developmental psychologist Erik Erikson, between ages of 40 and 65, we start asking ourselves how to make your life count. The answer, he advises, is something called “generativity”—which is simply a “concern for establishing and guiding for the next generation.” That is, what makes your life meaningful is to ensure that you care for, guide your kids into the future and raise them to become good human beings. This is how you leave your mark after you are gone.

Why Midlife “Crisis” Can Actually Make You a Better Person

The midlife years do not have to feel like a stone around your neck. They are not about depression and mood swings, or about feeling stuck in a rut and having an existential crisis. They are about re-assessment, reflection and the opportunity to become an improved version of yourself. Here are some ways in which this period can also make you a better person in the process:

1. Your Mental Health Improves

Faced with the transience of your existence, you realize that some things are not worth stressing about. You become calmer and wiser, learn to accept the things you can not change. In fact, studies have shown that, as we age, responsiveness to regret decreases.((Science: Don't look back in anger! Responsiveness to missed chances in successful and nonsuccessful aging.)) Therefore, our “emotional health” improves.

2. You Have Stronger Relationships

You become nicer with people as a result too—you let go of old grudges, are willing to overlook small disagreements. You don’t get hinged on the trivial stuff—you start looking at the bigger picture. In fact, you may become more appreciative of your relationships and spend more time with those who matter in your life.

3. You Are More Motivated

As you have gone through some ups and downs, trials and errors in the past years, you can become more focused, driven and motivated. You can craft new goals, use your lessons learned and find better ways of going after what you want.

4. You Take Better Care of Yourself—Both Physically and Mentally

You will seek balance, will stray away from extreme emotions and may adopt a more philosophical way of life—more in line with the Eastern philosophy of focusing on the Now.

5. You Feel More Connected with Others

As you think more about leaving a mark on Earth and doing something meaningful, you may look for ways to make the world a better place. You will want to have a positive legacy, so you may start helping others more, donate to charity or volunteer. You will come to realize that the good life is more about connectedness and less about social competition.((The Atlantic: The Real Roots of Midlife Crisis))

6. You're More Grateful

In this vein, you also start appreciating more what you have—i.e. there is a spike in gratitude as we age, studies tell us. You may shift focus from career to personal relationships and start nurturing them more. You will spend more time with family and friends and re-kindle your bonds.

7. You're More Positive

Finally, if you chose to see the positive—what you have achieved, what you have in your life, and feel grateful, you will adopt a more optimistic outlook too. You will be proud of our life unfolding the way it has, rather than feeling miserable that it has not taken another direction.

Summing It All Up

In the end, there are few take-aways for all who going through their midlife years. Remember that it is more about an opportunity for a re-assessment, improving your life and relationships, not about going haywire in your behavior. We should, in fact, stop calling this period “crisis”—as it is really not. It is more of midlife chances to finally summon the courage to become the person we are meant to be. It is also about starting to write a new chapter of your book, really. Nothing scary about this—similar to the other chapters, there will be stories of ups and downs, of surprises awaiting around the corner, of laughs and cries. It is called life. Rather than being scared, you can anticipate it with excitement—it is finally the time to “put your ducks in order” and focus on what truly matters to you. The wife of my cousin gave me a good piece of advice few years ago:

“I was down for while—it felt like I was nearing my life’s finish line. My son was grown up, I had a decent career, good marriage. I hit a plateau. It felt like there was nothing exciting around the corner. Until you learn to let go and shift your priorities. Now I started doing the things I’ve postponed for years. In your thirties, you have different priorities than your twenties, same when you look at your forties and fifties compared to a decade ago. It can not be the same and this is a good thing. Imagine staying up all night clubbing and drinking all night when you are forty-five. It doesn’t suit you.”

Listening to this, a question popped in my mind: But where is the crisis in this, really?

More Resources About Midlife Crisis

• How to Survive a Midlife Crisis in Men (the Definitive Guide)
• How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late
• Do You Have to Give Everything Up to Get a Fresh Start?
• Why It’s Never Too Late to Change Your Life and Live Differently
• Feeling Like It Might Be Too Late To Pursue Your Dreams? Think Again

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How a Sleeping Baby Got His Mother to Turn Away From the Mirror and Get Back On Her Feet

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Keeping active in middle age may be tied to lower risk of dementia

Keeping physically and mentally active in middle age may be tied to a lower risk of developing dementia decades later, according to a new study. Mental activities included reading, playing instruments, singing in a choir, visiting concerts, gardening, doing needlework or attending religious services.

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Anonymous Police Officer Leaves Pregnant Waitress ‘Hysterical’ With Joy When He Leaves $100 Tip

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Video of Teacher Goes Viral After He’s Admired For Putting Young Student’s Hair in a Ponytail

A 34-year-old teacher is warming hearts across social media after his teaching assistant caught footage of him helping a kindergarten student with her hair. Jonathan Oliver is a physical education teacher from WG Nunn Elementary School in Valdosta, Georgia. He was in the middle of teaching a gym class earlier this month when young Kristen Paulk asked […]

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Ambulance Volunteers Have Granted Thousands of Senior Patients’ Dying Wishes for Free

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Teacher Inspires Class By Chopping Off Her Waist-Length Hair to Match Bullied Student’s Haircut

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eBay Seller is Moved to Tears Over Heartfelt Thank-You Note From 86-Year-old Who Bought VHS Player

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Older biologic age linked to elevated breast cancer risk

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How diabetes causes muscle loss

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How Do You Meditate? 8 Meditation Techniques for Complete Beginners

Do you meditate? Negativity surrounds you in the form of people and situations. You react to every element and lose your conscious response. That repulsive reaction makes you a negative over-thinker! Ever heard of tool to cut the chord of negativity and lead a blissful life? It’s meditation. The state of meditation is a fuel of your inner world for a pleasant sail in your outer world. There are many reasons to meditate. Want to know the foremost? A meditated mind enables you to create your karma consciously. When you do that, the sources say you achieve the ultimate purpose of life- To feel happy!((PICK THE BRAIN: Why is consciousness the key to happiness?)) So yes, feeling happiness is the biggest reason to meditate! To unlock the magical experience of meditation, you neither follow a thumb rule nor turn into an ascetic. Meditation is any means of creating a majestic experience. So how do you meditate? No one can tell you which meditation technique gives you the best experience. You need to find your own course. But don’t overburden your mind with tonnes of techniques. Just start… How? When? For how much time? Leave them all. Start with a mindset you’ll spend a little alone time to enjoy solitude. Until you find your best meditation technique, let me explain:

1. Mindfulness Meditation

This form of meditation creates wonders in mind. It is the tool to maximize the concentration; the secret to extracting mind’s fullest potential.

How to Do It

Mindfulness meditation practice couldn’t be simpler: Take a good seat, pay attention to the breath, and when your attention wanders, return.((mindful: Mindfulness: How to Do It )) Don’t be hard on yourself. More it is effortless, more blissful is your experience. Not as easy as chewing a piece of gum! Playing hide and seek, thoughts are turbulence reaching that mind-sate. But that is what the challenge is all about -- to reduce the frequency and polish the quality of thoughts. Don’t expect dramatic magic the first few days. Please be patient and don’t stop; this is where you’ll get the result. You are always close reaching there. Do it every day to feel it one day. Once you taste the experience, trust me it’ll become as customary as eating food. Come on! 15 minutes is what it asks.

2. Open Monitoring Meditation

This meditation technique is about perceiving everything the way it is, not as per your judgmental convenience. It is one of the best technique to learn the art of loving with detachment.

How to Do It

In “open monitoring meditation,” one begins to practice “awareness of thinking.” All we must do to practice this form of meditation is to be aware of our thoughts and feelings and observe them without attachment.((The Psychology of Wellbeing: Open your mind with open monitoring meditation)) Whether it's a feeling from your inner world or a sound from the outer world, allow everything to free-flow without focusing on a particular thing.

Attachment is the root cause of suffering -- Gautama Buddha

When you learn the art of detachment, you don't stick to failures and loses. You move on. My observation says... "Open monitoring meditation" is the perfect answer to “How to create awareness in the present moment?”.

3. Follow Compassion

It is one of the best meditation techniques to feel content and blissful. If empathy is to feel the pain of others by stepping into their shoes, compassion is to walk wearing those shoes. It is the conversion of feelings into action, doing something to relieve the pain of others.((Happy Realization: It is your responsibility to complete the process; Sympathy-Empathy-Compassion)) ‘Help’ is just a four-letter word, but its impact is beyond words. Not only it makes the recipient blissful but also the one offering help.

How to Do It

You don’t have to do anything extra for a start. Many help-seekers are around you. Your emotional friend needs your moral advice and a beggar lying on street needs your financial help. If you have a solution to any of their problems, please don’t walk away leaving them suffering. Help them without expectations. Not only for them, do it for yourself. Your karma produces an unmatched feeling of contentment. It’ll enable you to have a positive approach towards life.

4. Change Your Lifestyle

Ever heard about this technique? A different experience altogether as it involves both mind and body. Not only it is the key to live happier but longer and stronger.

How to Do It

The best thing about this meditation technique is there isn’t a particular time or place to do it. You can do it anytime, anyplace. It starts with one small sacrifice -- seeking self-control. It could be anything from your routine or diet, forgoing an hour’s sleep to welcome the sunshine or resisting sugar in your delicious coffee. A little voluntary sacrifice has a rejuvenating effect on the mind and body. It boosts inner-self attributes and fuels your motivation levels to choose the right path. These simple lifestyle changes, for example, may seem small, but they can lead to big improvements to your health. Try them now to start thriving 24-7.((NUTRITIOUS LIFE: 7 Small Lifestyle Changes with Big Health Benefits)) Make sure you make realistic and small targets because the purpose is to achieve them. The effect of accomplishment is a joyous experience.

5. Do Whatever You Feel

It is one of the most beautiful techniques for developing self-love and shooting self-esteem. Unless you are not harming anyone, doing whatever you love is a soulful experience.

How to Do It

We are different, incomparable individuals. I feel there is one uniqueness in every soul which distinguishes him/her from others. You need to explore your passion to pursue it. I love to write, and this is what I am doing -- writing my soul out. It makes me complete as an individual. Ask yourself that one thing which makes you smile, which no one does better. When you get an answer, make it worthy to define you. If you don't feel fortunate enough to do whatever you feel, the next technique is for you.

6. Feel Whatever You Do

It is the best technique to make you an endeavor. Come what may, you’ll always be a winner in life.

How to Do It

The initiation requires an explanation: Not everyone is fortunate to do whatever they feel. Sometimes, you need to submit to life’s unpredictable nature. And if it’s a bread-butter fight, the passion for anything not yielding money initially, becomes secondary. This technique is about accepting life the way it is. You need to see the positive side, always. Instead of counting your weaknesses and shortfalls, you need to count on your strengths and blessings. Gradually, you develop a feeling of appreciation towards life. This appreciation itself is a technique helps you develop an optimistic approach full of opportunities and possibilities. You develop a nothing-to-lose attitude which makes you fearless of the outer world. Who knows, when you practice this technique, you reach a state where you start doing whatever you feel.

7. Walking Meditation

This meditation technique is an answer to your impatience in meditation while sitting. It is a gateway to many powerful meditation techniques.

In order to have peace and joy, you must succeed in having peace within each of your steps. Your steps are the most important thing. -- Thich Nhat Hanh

I discovered it accidentally. With no mechanical mode available to commute, I walked 5 kilometers to attend an important meeting. With no extra effort, I was just aware of my steps. Yes, that was a lively experience.

How to Do It

Start with a small walk -- morning, evening, dinner, anytime. Feel your moving steps to create awareness about the same. Even if your mind diverts; bring it back to your steps. You’ll become calmer and cheerful. Mindfulness practice of all kinds, especially walking meditation, is highly nourishing and allows you to find a moment of peace and a sense of being grounded or “balanced” each day that’s invaluable for our well-being.((Buddhaimonia: The Beginner’s Guide to Walking Meditation)) Walking is one of the physical activities which doesn’t tire but energizes your body. But it is you who has to make it a pleasant experience for your mind too.

8. Connect with Nature

This form of meditation is a source of immense positive energy. It is one of your rare interactions with the outer world without altercations.

How to Do It

Nothing special, just interact with nature. Find a place in the green where the outer environment is serene and peaceful, not a place full of air pollution or people population. Listen to nature's offer -- the sound of a flowing river, chattering birds or the flowing wind. Mesmerized by nature’s beauty, you’ll comprehend its essence. But there is a problem with your mind-state. Completely driven by the social environment, you have lost awareness over the natural environment. Nature is waiting to tell you a beautiful story. Please be patient to listen to it. It’ll give you another dimension to experiencing life.

The Bottom Line

Easy to follow, and immensely effective, all the meditation techniques mentioned above are for complete beginners. These are simple meditation techniques which only seek your initial patience. Try every technique to find out the one giving you the most worldly experience. Most things from the outer world induce stress and raise anxiety levels. It is you who has to find the peace inside. The best thing about meditation is it changes the way you respond to everything. You blossom as an individual. Start your day with an effortless smile. No matter how busy you are, take out time to meditate. Not only you know yourself bigger but you adapt to situations better. I find the morning time the best time to meditate. If you are an early riser, this guided morning meditation for beginners is the answer you are seeking: The Guided Morning Meditation for Beginners (That Will Change Your Day) Even if brunch is your first meal of the morning, you can try this: How Guided Meditation for Sleep Improves Your Mindset While Awake Happy exploring your best way to enjoy solitude... Good luck!

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How Do You Meditate? 8 Meditation Techniques for Complete Beginners

Do you meditate? Negativity surrounds you in the form of people and situations. You react to every element and lose your conscious response. That repulsive reaction makes you a negative over-thinker! Ever heard of tool to cut the chord of negativity and lead a blissful life? It’s meditation. The state of meditation is a fuel of your inner world for a pleasant sail in your outer world. There are many reasons to meditate. Want to know the foremost? A meditated mind enables you to create your karma consciously. When you do that, the sources say you achieve the ultimate purpose of life- To feel happy!((PICK THE BRAIN: Why is consciousness the key to happiness?)) So yes, feeling happiness is the biggest reason to meditate! To unlock the magical experience of meditation, you neither follow a thumb rule nor turn into an ascetic. Meditation is any means of creating a majestic experience. So how do you meditate? No one can tell you which meditation technique gives you the best experience. You need to find your own course. But don’t overburden your mind with tonnes of techniques. Just start… How? When? For how much time? Leave them all. Start with a mindset you’ll spend a little alone time to enjoy solitude. Until you find your best meditation technique, let me explain:

1. Mindfulness Meditation

This form of meditation creates wonders in mind. It is the tool to maximize the concentration; the secret to extracting mind’s fullest potential.

How to Do It

Mindfulness meditation practice couldn’t be simpler: Take a good seat, pay attention to the breath, and when your attention wanders, return.((mindful: Mindfulness: How to Do It )) Don’t be hard on yourself. More it is effortless, more blissful is your experience. Not as easy as chewing a piece of gum! Playing hide and seek, thoughts are turbulence reaching that mind-sate. But that is what the challenge is all about -- to reduce the frequency and polish the quality of thoughts. Don’t expect dramatic magic the first few days. Please be patient and don’t stop; this is where you’ll get the result. You are always close reaching there. Do it every day to feel it one day. Once you taste the experience, trust me it’ll become as customary as eating food. Come on! 15 minutes is what it asks.

2. Open Monitoring Meditation

This meditation technique is about perceiving everything the way it is, not as per your judgmental convenience. It is one of the best technique to learn the art of loving with detachment.

How to Do It

In “open monitoring meditation,” one begins to practice “awareness of thinking.” All we must do to practice this form of meditation is to be aware of our thoughts and feelings and observe them without attachment.((The Psychology of Wellbeing: Open your mind with open monitoring meditation)) Whether it's a feeling from your inner world or a sound from the outer world, allow everything to free-flow without focusing on a particular thing.

Attachment is the root cause of suffering -- Gautama Buddha

When you learn the art of detachment, you don't stick to failures and loses. You move on. My observation says... "Open monitoring meditation" is the perfect answer to “How to create awareness in the present moment?”.

3. Follow Compassion

It is one of the best meditation techniques to feel content and blissful. If empathy is to feel the pain of others by stepping into their shoes, compassion is to walk wearing those shoes. It is the conversion of feelings into action, doing something to relieve the pain of others.((Happy Realization: It is your responsibility to complete the process; Sympathy-Empathy-Compassion)) ‘Help’ is just a four-letter word, but its impact is beyond words. Not only it makes the recipient blissful but also the one offering help.

How to Do It

You don’t have to do anything extra for a start. Many help-seekers are around you. Your emotional friend needs your moral advice and a beggar lying on street needs your financial help. If you have a solution to any of their problems, please don’t walk away leaving them suffering. Help them without expectations. Not only for them, do it for yourself. Your karma produces an unmatched feeling of contentment. It’ll enable you to have a positive approach towards life.

4. Change Your Lifestyle

Ever heard about this technique? A different experience altogether as it involves both mind and body. Not only it is the key to live happier but longer and stronger.

How to Do It

The best thing about this meditation technique is there isn’t a particular time or place to do it. You can do it anytime, anyplace. It starts with one small sacrifice -- seeking self-control. It could be anything from your routine or diet, forgoing an hour’s sleep to welcome the sunshine or resisting sugar in your delicious coffee. A little voluntary sacrifice has a rejuvenating effect on the mind and body. It boosts inner-self attributes and fuels your motivation levels to choose the right path. These simple lifestyle changes, for example, may seem small, but they can lead to big improvements to your health. Try them now to start thriving 24-7.((NUTRITIOUS LIFE: 7 Small Lifestyle Changes with Big Health Benefits)) Make sure you make realistic and small targets because the purpose is to achieve them. The effect of accomplishment is a joyous experience.

5. Do Whatever You Feel

It is one of the most beautiful techniques for developing self-love and shooting self-esteem. Unless you are not harming anyone, doing whatever you love is a soulful experience.

How to Do It

We are different, incomparable individuals. I feel there is one uniqueness in every soul which distinguishes him/her from others. You need to explore your passion to pursue it. I love to write, and this is what I am doing -- writing my soul out. It makes me complete as an individual. Ask yourself that one thing which makes you smile, which no one does better. When you get an answer, make it worthy to define you. If you don't feel fortunate enough to do whatever you feel, the next technique is for you.

6. Feel Whatever You Do

It is the best technique to make you an endeavor. Come what may, you’ll always be a winner in life.

How to Do It

The initiation requires an explanation: Not everyone is fortunate to do whatever they feel. Sometimes, you need to submit to life’s unpredictable nature. And if it’s a bread-butter fight, the passion for anything not yielding money initially, becomes secondary. This technique is about accepting life the way it is. You need to see the positive side, always. Instead of counting your weaknesses and shortfalls, you need to count on your strengths and blessings. Gradually, you develop a feeling of appreciation towards life. This appreciation itself is a technique helps you develop an optimistic approach full of opportunities and possibilities. You develop a nothing-to-lose attitude which makes you fearless of the outer world. Who knows, when you practice this technique, you reach a state where you start doing whatever you feel.

7. Walking Meditation

This meditation technique is an answer to your impatience in meditation while sitting. It is a gateway to many powerful meditation techniques.

In order to have peace and joy, you must succeed in having peace within each of your steps. Your steps are the most important thing. -- Thich Nhat Hanh

I discovered it accidentally. With no mechanical mode available to commute, I walked 5 kilometers to attend an important meeting. With no extra effort, I was just aware of my steps. Yes, that was a lively experience.

How to Do It

Start with a small walk -- morning, evening, dinner, anytime. Feel your moving steps to create awareness about the same. Even if your mind diverts; bring it back to your steps. You’ll become calmer and cheerful. Mindfulness practice of all kinds, especially walking meditation, is highly nourishing and allows you to find a moment of peace and a sense of being grounded or “balanced” each day that’s invaluable for our well-being.((Buddhaimonia: The Beginner’s Guide to Walking Meditation)) Walking is one of the physical activities which doesn’t tire but energizes your body. But it is you who has to make it a pleasant experience for your mind too.

8. Connect with Nature

This form of meditation is a source of immense positive energy. It is one of your rare interactions with the outer world without altercations.

How to Do It

Nothing special, just interact with nature. Find a place in the green where the outer environment is serene and peaceful, not a place full of air pollution or people population. Listen to nature's offer -- the sound of a flowing river, chattering birds or the flowing wind. Mesmerized by nature’s beauty, you’ll comprehend its essence. But there is a problem with your mind-state. Completely driven by the social environment, you have lost awareness over the natural environment. Nature is waiting to tell you a beautiful story. Please be patient to listen to it. It’ll give you another dimension to experiencing life.

The Bottom Line

Easy to follow, and immensely effective, all the meditation techniques mentioned above are for complete beginners. These are simple meditation techniques which only seek your initial patience. Try every technique to find out the one giving you the most worldly experience. Most things from the outer world induce stress and raise anxiety levels. It is you who has to find the peace inside. The best thing about meditation is it changes the way you respond to everything. You blossom as an individual. Start your day with an effortless smile. No matter how busy you are, take out time to meditate. Not only you know yourself bigger but you adapt to situations better. I find the morning time the best time to meditate. If you are an early riser, this guided morning meditation for beginners is the answer you are seeking: The Guided Morning Meditation for Beginners (That Will Change Your Day) Even if brunch is your first meal of the morning, you can try this: How Guided Meditation for Sleep Improves Your Mindset While Awake Happy exploring your best way to enjoy solitude... Good luck!

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