Technology bolsters use of chia seeds to help improve health, slow signs of aging

A team has developed and patented a method to separate mucilage from chia seeds, yielding a protein-rich chia seed flour with improved bioactivity and functionality compared with conventional methods.

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This New Year, Dare to Be Unfaithful to Your Goals

An excerpt from the book Thriving Through Uncertainty: Moving Beyond Fear of the Unknown and Making Change Work for You (TarcherPerigree-Penguin-Randomhouse), by Tama Kieves I was talking to one of my coaching clients who reported not being able to stay with a Zen meditation practice—so she gave up meditating altogether. “I’m either gung-ho all the […]

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This Week’s Inspiring Horoscopes From Rob Brezsny’s ‘Free Will Astrology’

Our friend Rob Brezsny provides his weekly wisdom to enlighten our thinking and motivate our mood. Rob’s Free Will Astrology, is a syndicated weekly column appearing in over a hundred publications. He is also the author of Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How All of Creation Is Conspiring To Shower You with Blessings. (A free […]

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Postman Who Started the Online Craze for Sea Shanties has Now Quit his Job to Pursue a Career in Music

Hot off the presses from the ‘Isn’t It Ironic?’ department comes this story of a seasick postman who’s about to get his 15 minutes of fame (and likely a whole lot more) by singing—what else?—sea shanties. For those not familiar with the jaunty ditties, sea shanties, dating back some 600 years, are folk songs first […]

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‘Mission of Mercy’ Underway to Restore Home of 94-Year-old War Hero

Alfred Guerra is 94 years old. The decorated World War II veteran, who was awarded both the Bronze Star and a Purple Heart for acts of bravery, never faltered when it came to doing his duty for his country. When Guerra recently found himself in times of need, his San Antonio community stepped up to […]

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Bernie Sanders Memes And Mittens Have Now Raised Over $1.8 Million for Charity

The weather for President Joe Biden’s inauguration ceremony was blustery, with snow flurries and a wind chill making the temperature like a frigid 33 degrees. Never let it be said that dyed-in-the-wool Vermonter Senator Bernie Sanders doesn’t know how to dress for winter weather. Along with Amanda Gorman’s stirring poem, Senator Sanders’ now-iconic be-mittened outfit […]

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How To Be Proactive At Work: 4 Habits To Build

I don’t know about you, but it was nearly impossible for me to be proactive at work last year.

Every week, I would map out my game plan and color-code my calendar. But when I tried to set things in motion, I faced ten-foot barriers that would force me to change direction. I’d have to reschedule meetings, push deadlines back, and reorganize my life because of all the twists and turns. Pivoting became my life, and it was taking over every part of it.

When I think back to 2020, it was like trying to survive the Tour de France blindfolded. By the end of the year, I was worn out, and I was in no mood to organize my 2021 goals. Being proactive was the furthest from my mind. In many ways, I didn’t even want to dream about new projects.

When January 1st entered the scene, I crawled back under my covers and hoped for the best—or at least a year that would be more predictable with less pivoting.

You want to be hopeful for this year, but a part of you is afraid of another year filled with more barriers and you’re tired of trying to survive the chaos. You’re not alone.

Over 100,000 businesses have permanently shut their doors because of Covid-19.^[1] Start-Ups aren’t getting a second chance.^[2] And according to Pew Research, one in four adults still have a hard time finding money to pay their bills.^[3]

This reality is not the most inspiring for those of us who are business leaders. If anything, it feels like the grim reaper is right around the corner to destroy our dreams and add us to the rising number of failed companies.

Being proactive is one of the most challenging things to muster right now. But it is one of the most imperative traits that we need to embrace.

If you want your business to succeed in 2021, you need to be proactive at work. It won’t be easy, but it will be a lot easier with these 4 practical habits that I’ve put together for you. These tools will make all the difference for you and your organization.

Let’s get started.

1. Want to Be Proactive at Work? Don’t Be Busy

Repeat after me: only do what is necessary—no more and no less.

If you’re anything like me, as soon as January 1st comes along, you cram in all your five-year goals into one packed year. You love seeing your schedule filled. But being busy isn’t the same as being productive. Being proactive requires you to take a step back, reevaluate your priorities, and actually take things off of your plate before adding new goals.

The brain is not designed to always operate at full capacity twenty-four hours a day.^[4] It needs a break. If we’re constantly immersing ourselves throughout the day with frivolous tasks, then we don’t have time to concentrate on our goals.

This year, I’m taking a break from the chaos and learning to do fewer tasks with more investment.

Think of it this way. Planning takes time. It’s like painting an apartment. Before you can add color to the drab walls of your living room, you have to plan and prep the area. The same is true for being proactive at work.

2. Stop Trying to Run Everyone’s Race

If you want to direct the narrative of your life, you need to take a step back and get rid of the clutter. Figure out what you can delegate and then, focus your energy away from the distractions. Not every email needs a reply, and not every job is right for you.

Shakespeare said it best,^[5]

“To thine own self be true.”

These six words need to become your mantra.

If you want to reach your goals this year and be proactive, you need to walk forward with laser focus. If you compare yourself or your business to the next big thing, you won’t contribute anything except a lesser copy of yourself and your organization.

Stop looking around. Your purpose is not to run the race of someone else. If you want to be proactive at work, you need to stop comparing yourself to your neighbor and stick to running your own race. It’s the only way that you’ll win.

3. Make “Essentialism” Your 2021 Word

When you’re figuring out your 2021 goals, take time to weigh the cost. Ask yourself if it’s worth the investment. Being proactive means that you take into consideration all the variables before cementing your goals.

Before you map out your plan or get crazy with those highlighters, ask yourself these two questions:

• Will this goal help create balance in my life?
• Will this goal produce a return on investment?

If you can answer a resounding “yes” to both of these questions, then take these ideas and write them down on a piece of paper.

After you’ve compiled a list of 15 to 20 ideas, take a new sheet of paper and break it into two columns. The first section should contain a list of goals that take priority. These ideas would fall under the umbrella of being trend-related and financially profitable.

The second section should contain a list of goals that will increase your social proof and promote your priority goals. This column drives traffic and promotes awareness of your business and your product.

After you’ve compiled this list, break it in half and cut it down to three goals in each section. Three is the perfect number because it gives you leeway to pivot and bend if you need to make changes throughout the process.

The two excellent tools that have helped me develop a schedule of essentialism are Hilary Rushford’s Elegant Excellence Journal^[6] and Jill Konrath’s book, “More Sales. Less Time.”

Both of these tools have helped me focus on what’s important, make the best decisions for my business, and make a profit without sacrificing my health.

4. Order the Same Latte

When you look at the greats in the business world, they all encompass one thing: simplicity.

If you minimize your choices and stick to the basics, you’ll have the ability to save time and focus your energy on decisions that require your creativity. Keeping up with the latest fashion trends not only sacrifices your time but also sacrifices your budget.

Remember, it’s not about looking successful. It’s about making choices that give you the ability to be successful.

Here are four things that you can do to save time to make you more proactive at work:

• Buy multiples of the same outfit and mix and match throughout the week.
• Order the same drink each day from the same coffee shop.
• Prepare meals at the beginning of the week for lunch and dinner.
• Set your alarm for the same time each morning, including weekends.

It’s impossible to be proactive if you feel rushed. But if you follow the four tips that are listed above, you’ll gain more time in your schedule and have more energy to lead your business and operate with a well-organized game plan.

Final Thoughts

I think the majority of us are tired of feeling like we’re contestants in Survivor. After all, who wants to be filmed while living in the woods and surviving off of bugs and tree bark?

All kidding aside. This past year has been challenging. But we can learn a lot from these past twelve months.

If you want to be proactive, simplify your schedule, focus on your path, only take what you need, and be purposeful with your time and energy. Being proactive is not about filling up your schedule. It’s about creating balance in your life.

I know it seems daunting right now, and many of us are still trying to figure out how to pay this month’s rent with spare change from the couch. But if you take the time to prepare and figure out what’s a priority this year, you’ll not only meet your goals, you’ll enjoy the journey.

You have all the tools you need to be proactive at work. Now, go map out your 2021 goals for the year!

More Tips on How to Be Proactive

• 4 Proactive Strategies to Build a Social Life
• Are You Proactive or Reactive?
• Pro-Active Steps to Prevent Procrastination

Featured photo credit: Campaign Creators via unsplash.com

Reference

[1]	^	Fortune: Nearly 100,000 establishments that temporarily shut down due to the pandemic are now out of business
[2]	^	New York Times: Start-Ups Are Pummeled in the ‘Great Unwinding’
[3]	^	Pew Research Center: Economic Fallout From COVID-19 Continues To Hit Lower-Income Americans the Hardest
[4]	^	Entrepreneur: 4 Ways to Be More Productive, Not Just Busy
[5]	^	BBC America: 45 Everyday Phrases Coined By Shakespeare
[6]	^	Elegant Excellence Journal: Elegant Excellence Journal & Workshops

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Can large fluid-filled spaces in the brain help identify those at risk of dementia?

People with enlarged fluid-filled spaces in the brain around small blood vessels may be more likely to develop cognitive problems and dementia over time than people without these enlarged spaces, according to a new study.

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Former White Supremacist Store and Klan Meeting Space is Being Turned Into a Community Center to Promote Healing

One of the surest ways to keep history from repeating itself is to shine a light in its darkest corners, and that’s exactly what 67-year-old Reverend David Kennedy has set out to do in the town of Laurens, South Carolina. In 2019, Reverend Kennedy and local historian Regan Freeman founded the Echo Foundation. Its mission: […]

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A compound that slows bone loss, and a resource for developing treatments to slow aging

A compound that extends lifespan in a tiny nematode worm slows bone loss in aging mice. That surprising result comes from a longitudinal and functional study of 700 aging mice, a project that provides a treasure trove of data for researchers aiming to develop therapeutics to slow aging and age-related diseases.

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UFC Champ Dustin Poirier is Giving Back, Raising Thousands For Kids in Need And Inspiring Other Fighters

He just reached #1 in the UFC lightweight rankings, after knocking out famed mixed martial artist Conor McGregor over the weekend—but Dustin Poirier is also #1 in the hearts of kids and their parents in Lafayette, Louisiana. When the 32-year-old former Interim UFC Lightweight Champion wanted to give back to his hometown, he and his […]

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UFC Champ Dustin Poirier is Giving Back, Raising Thousands For Kids in Need And Inspiring Other Fighters

He just reached #1 in the UFC lightweight rankings, after knocking out famed mixed martial artist Conor McGregor over the weekend—but Dustin Poirier is also #1 in the hearts of kids and their parents in Lafayette, Louisiana. When the 32-year-old former Interim UFC Lightweight Champion wanted to give back to his hometown, he and his […]

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NBA Star Buys George Floyd’s Family a House, Joining Streisand and Others Donating Car and Stocks to Survivors

When George Floyd was killed in May last year by a police officer in Minneapolis, footage of the homicide went viral, sparking Black Lives Matter protests across America. Floyd may have left in his wake a lasting legacy of activism, but he also left behind a 7-year-old daughter named Gianna. Fortunately, the world is now […]

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First observation of the early link between proteins linked to Alzheimer's disease

Researchers demonstrate, for the first time in humans, how the first deposits of tau proteins in the brainstem are associated with neurophysiological processes specific to the early stages of Alzheimer's disease development.

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What’s the Key to Raising Confident Kids? Here’s What the Majority of Parents Say…

82% of parents are making a daily, concerted effort to raise their children to be confident, according to a new survey. A poll of 1,000 parents of school-aged children found 47% said they make sure they themselves are a good example of confidence for their children. And 54% inspire confidence in their kids by allowing […]

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Little Boy’s Stuffed Bambi Rescued From Frozen Canal – They Didn’t Think People Would Care

Everyone knows Santa’s favorite red-nosed reindeer knows how to fly. Unfortunately, his namesake, Rudolph, a beloved stuffed toy fawn belonging to 4-year-old Nico Lavallée, did not. Sadly, Nico found that out the hard way while on a walk with his mom, Brenda Duke, and siblings 2-year-old Santiago and 6-year-old Sebastian when his little brother decided […]

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Hair aging differs by race, ethnicity

While aging is an unavoidable biological process with many influencing factors that results in visible changes to the hair, there is limited literature examining the characteristics of hair aging across the races. Now a new study describes the unique characteristics of hair aging among different ethnicities that the authors hope will aid in a culturally sensitive approach when making recommendations to prevent hair damage during one's life-time.

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How To Exude Confidence Effortlessly in 5 Easy Steps

Nothing looks better on you than confidence. We all want to feel confident and exude confidence in life. We often look for the good things in life to make us feel confident—a successful career, a great relationship, lots of money, making a difference in the world, and being the best we can be.

The irony is this: you often need to find the confidence first before success comes to you. Feeling confident first helps you be your best.

The good news is that confidence is something you create! The key to your success in all areas of your life is having the confidence to do it, the belief that you can do it, and that you have the ability to do it. We need the confidence to go through both the high and lows that life will throw at us.

Confidence is not about being fearless, it’s about going for what you desire in the face of fear and uncertainty. It’s about knowing you can handle yourself in any situation, even if you don’t know it all.

So, how do you create that confidence inside yourself when you don’t feel it? Here are the 5 steps for you to exude confidence effortlessly and become unstoppable:

1. Use Positive Body Language

The body speaks before you speak. How you hold yourself has a direct effect on your physiology, which affects your emotions and confidence. One of the simplest ways to change your internal state from insecurity to confidence is to shift your body language.

Think of a time when you were frustrated, depressed, or had low energy: What was your posture like? How did you hold your head? Your neck? Your spine? What was your breathing like?

Now, think of a time when you felt unstoppable and powerful. How were you holding your body? What was your posture like then? Did you make eye contact? Did you smile?

Notice the difference in those two visual representations of a low-confidence state and a high-confidence state. Now, practice standing in a confident posture. Feel the emotions of being unstoppable. Feel how good your body feels in that position. Realize how it makes other people look at you with more confidence. Get even more confidence from how others feel about you seeing you stand in that powerful position.

Harvard researcher Amy Cuddy noted, in her 2012 Ted Talk, that research shows that standing in a powerful body posture increases testosterone and reduces cortisol hormone release while standing in a weak position decreases testosterone and increases feelings of stress.

She refers to the strong pose as the Wonder Woman pose, with your hands on your hips, back straight, face held high. This pose, in particular, enhanced the emotions of confidence quickly and effortlessly.

One of the fastest ways to change your confidence level and exude confidence is to change your body posture, so use this any time you feel lacking in emotional confidence. Remember that changing the body also changes the mind.

2. Upgrade Your Thoughts

In general, we go through the day in one of two major thought patterns: worry, doubt, and fear, or abundance, love, and gratitude. Confidence obviously comes from a positive thought pattern.

If our typical thought pattern is negative, we have to learn how to shift it into the pattern of confidence. By first identifying what our internal self-talk is saying, we can then make a conscious choice to shift it.

Our words create our emotions, which then follow through in our actions. If we are not confident, many times we can trace it back to the words we’re using and the story we are telling ourselves.

Your inner dialogue has a direct relationship to your confidence. Positive self-talk can help you exude confidence. It should be the first thing you look at when increasing your level of confidence. Just look at your current emotional state and ask yourself what thoughts led you to that state.

When you catch yourself in a negative dialogue, the key is to shift your thoughts into the positive of that situation. Is it the situation or your thoughts about the situation that feel the most negative? What scenario could make this a more positive situation?

By doing that, you’ll begin to change your internal state, moving you towards positivity and confidence in any situation.

3. Know Who You Are

Knowing your values creates confidence. Knowing what you stand for shows how confident you are. What do you value? What do you stand for? If you can’t express your values clearly, then you need to do a values exercise.

To understand what’s important to you, list out the 5 things that are most important to you in life, and what you believe you stand for.

Here are some examples:

• God
• Family
• Career
• Health
• Community
• Creativity,
• Making a difference
• Having fun
• Freedom

Now, list them in order of importance. Simply taking the time to ask yourself what matters and what you want to stand for gives you clear confidence on where you spend your time, money, and energy, and helps you avoid the false feeling of missing out on things that don’t apply to your values.

If you are living your life without clear values, you’ll be in a constant battle of questioning what matters, and that will drain your confidence or force you to look to other people to give you confidence.

Knowing what you stand for and knowing who you instantly build inner confidence. It allows you to interact with the world and exude confidence.

Know thyself—knowing who you are creates the confidence you need to shine.

4. Be Present

Being present in every moment allows you to connect with your gifts and talents. It allows you to make mindful choices with your thoughts and actions that give you confidence in what you are doing.

When you’re 100% present, you can have 100% confidence. Being present allows you to let go of the past, and create a future full of what you want. If you’re stuck in the past, you can’t be fully confident, especially if you are looking at a bunch of negative situations from the past.

Confidence requires a fully present mindset, forgetting the past, targeting the future you want, and moving forward powerfully in the present moment to get what you want. One of the quickest ways to get into the present moment is cultivating a mindset called “Timefulness”.

In my book, The Time Cleanse, I discuss how to use Timefulness to discover not only how you are using your time and relating to time in the present moment but also how to instantly improve your relationship with it.

First, take a look at your current thoughts and ask yourself: “am I currently in an antagonistic relationship with time, feeling like it’s being taken from me, or do I feel like time is on my side, a partner and ally, and that I am using my current time to move towards exactly what I want in exactly the way I want?”

If you find yourself thinking thoughts like “I don’t have enough time,” “where did the time go?” or “if time allows,” then you need to change your current relationship with time from negative to positive.

To drop into the mindset of timefulness, first, recognize that time comes from you. You are the source of your time. You get to determine what you do with it.

Secondly, recognize that time is your most valuable possession. It is more valuable than gold or diamonds. You need your time to do literally everything you want to do in life.

Third, recognize that time is your best friend. Time is your ally, on your side, ready to work for you and help you accomplish anything and everything that you desire. All your dreams will be accomplished with the help of time.

Lastly, feel gratitude for the time you have in this present moment, and see the positive outcome that you are going to use this time for. Now, approach the current moment with full confidence that time is on your side!

5. Find Self-Compassion

The last major thing we need to exude confidence effortlessly is self-compassion. This might sound counterintuitive—shouldn’t a confident person not need compassion? But actually, it’s the exact opposite.

A confident person can take risks and have courage in the face of adversity. Self-compassion means being there for yourself in a supportive way in the face of failure, adversity, and challenges.

Research shows that self-compassion increases grit, the ability to recover from a setback, and our willingness to take positive risks.^[1] That is what builds self-confidence and helps you exude confidence!

Self-compassion is the secret weapon that allows people to make mistakes and take hits in life, recover fully from them, get back up, and keep going forward with full confidence.

To provide some self-compassion for yourself, simply do the following 3 Steps:

1. Take a deep breath and become aware of any negative feelings or thoughts you are having.
2. Acknowledge that it’s not just you. “I am not alone. Many others are going through this same experience now.”
3. Repeat kind words and phrases to yourself, such as “may I be supported,” “may I be loved,” “may I be protected,” and “may I be at ease and productive.”

Continue the process with patience, allowing for the opportunity for your perceptions to shift off the current situation. This will ground you and help stabilize your emotions.

Best of all, when you have a setback, you’ll be ready to get back up sooner than later and get back in the game. There’s nothing more confident than that.

Self-compassion isn’t letting yourself off the hook or not holding yourself accountable for your results, actions, and performance. This is not giving yourself a trophy for coming in the last place. It’s about being there for yourself as a good friend or coach would be there in the face of challenges. It’s taking care of yourself mentally and emotionally when the chips are down. It’s bringing your best self to yourself when you need it most and along with it increased confidence!

Final Thoughts

Some people are naturally more confident than others. But that doesn’t mean that some people cannot exude confidence. It’s something that you can learn in your life.

Take these 5 easy steps whenever you need a boost of confidence, and you’ll be able to exude more confidence than ever!

More Tips on How to Exude Confidence

• 10 Powerful Ways to Be More Confident
• 8 Ways to Appear Confident Even When You Don’t Feel It
• How to Be Confident Without Being Cocky

Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

Reference

[1]

^

Thrive Global: Why Self-Compassion Is The Key to High Performance

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Volunteers Remove 9,200-lbs. of Trash From One of the Dirtiest Rivers in the US

In an epic cleanup weekend, volunteers dug out more than 9,000 pounds of trash from along the banks of the Tennessee River. Organized by nonprofits Keep the Tennessee River Beautiful and Johnsonville State Historic Park The team led another cleanup in October, when they collected 4,811 pounds of trash. And there’s still more to be […]

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In 15 Months, This 441-lb Man Lost 228 Pounds and Now Runs Marathons to Be Healthy For His Kids

In just 15 months, this 441-pound man who couldn’t fit in a theater seat lost 228 pounds and completed a full marathon. The motivation to change came when the 31-year-old recognized that he didn’t have the energy to play with his two young children. Since that realization a little over a year ago, Rob Sparkes […]

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This Week’s Inspiring Horoscopes From Rob Brezsny’s ‘Free Will Astrology’

Our friend Rob Brezsny provides his weekly wisdom to enlighten our thinking and motivate our mood. Rob’s Free Will Astrology, is a syndicated weekly column appearing in over a hundred publications. He is also the author of Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How All of Creation Is Conspiring To Shower You with Blessings. (A free […]

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TikTok Users Rallied to Design a Better Pill Bottle for People With Parkinson’s

Necessity has long been the mother of invention, but thanks to cutting-edge technology and the power of social media, the leap from inspiration to reality can happen almost overnight. If you doubt it, just ask Jimmy Choi. Choi is an amazing athlete. He also suffers from Parkinson’s disease. Diagnosed at age 27 with early-onset symptoms, […]

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How to Help Your Child Develop Self Regulation Skills

I was a ski instructor during college, and 95% of the lessons that I taught were with children. Often, they were group lessons with up to a dozen children in my charge at one time. Even twenty years later I can still recall the ten-year-old girl that whined, cried, and threw tantrums all day long in my maxed out class of 12 children.

We had a bunny hill for learning, and she would screech in a whiny voice that her skis were not going the direction she was wanting them to go every time she skied down the small hit. That would be followed by her throwing herself in a mound of snow at the base of hill and wailing. It was an awful day as an instructor. I still wonder why her parents put her in the class if they knew she had this kind of behavior. My guess is that they wanted to ski by themselves and didn’t care if she learned to ski. It was simply the most available childcare at the resort.

I was a psychology undergrad student at that time, and I knew that her behavior was not normal. Looking back at the situation, she did not appear to be autistic as her social skills were quite adept. She is a perfect example of a child who lacks good self-regulation skills.

What Is Self-Regulation?

Self-regulation skills include a child’s ability to manage their emotions and behaviors in different situations. “It is related to emotional control and planning as well as the control of one’s own behavior.”^[1]

If your child doesn’t win a board game, do they throw a tantrum or pout more than other children their age? Does your child become enraged or completely lose their cool when they can’t find something, such as their shoes or backpack, before school? Does your child habitually fight with their siblings or other children when they don’t get something they want, such as a toy?

If you answered yes to any of the above or feel that your child may be lacking in self-regulations skills, then keep reading. This article will provide you with tips on how to help your child with the development of self-regulation skills. It is imperative that children get help with these skills sooner than later, as research has shown that lack of self regulation early in life can lead to greater problems in the future, such as difficulties in school.^[2]

Tips to Help Your Child Develop Self-Regulation Skills

1. Discuss Self-Regulation in Their Terms

“He made me do it!” my kids have said of one another many a times. They are usually defending their own bad behavior. An older sister may hit a younger brother because he spit on her, and her defense is that he made her hit him because he spit on her first.

This is the way a child’s mind works. It is up to parents to explain to their children that each person has control over their own actions and reactions. Children need to understand that self-regulation and control over their emotions and behaviors takes time and practice.

This conversation about self-regulation and self-control is not a one time occurrence. It is something parents should be discussing with their children regularly.

Talk to your child using terms that they understand. If you are working with your toddler on self-regulation, then you will need to convey things very simply. You can talk about how if they throw a tantrum in the grocery store, it means that they don’t get to go to the playground that afternoon. Remind the child of the consequence before you even enter the store. Talk about what good behavior looks like and that their reward will be playing in the park after shopping.

Teaching self-regulation skills should start early in life. Toddlers can begin to learn basic self-regulation through consequences. These consequences and the expectations for their behavior should be explained in basic terms that are age appropriate.

For example: “If you hit your baby brother today, you will get no TV tonight.” Follow through with consequences, but also set reasonable expectations.

Toddlers also need reminders often and to be talked to eye-to-eye on their level. Self-regulation skills are very difficult for toddlers, but it is teachable time.

2. Help Your Child Set Goals

Goals help to direct behavior. If your child sets a goal of getting an A in math, then their behavior can be directed toward that goal. Rather than playing video games after school, they may be more likely to get their math homework done if they have a genuine goal set for getting an A in math.

Behavior is regulated by goals, according to research,^[3]. If an individual doesn’t have any set goals, then the behavior will likely have less regulation or direction towards a positive purpose.

Helping your child set reasonable goals that they can be passionate about can help their self-regulation. For example, if your child has a difficult time waking up each morning, then talk about setting a goal of them getting to bed by a specific time each night so they don’t have groggy mornings.

You can help them make a chart of this goal, so they can track their progress. After a few weeks of successfully achieving the goal, you can then discuss with them how their life has improved with more sleep and a set time of going to bed.

Only you know where your child needs improvements in self-regulation. Once you target the areas that need improvement, then help them to set goals that work toward better self-regulation skills.

Self-regulation is integral to life success through goal setting. In a research article that supports goal-setting and self-regulation, the following was stated:

Self-regulation also involves setting and reaching goals. To succeed in life, people must manage themselves effectively, which involves setting appropriate goals and then making themselves carry out the steps to achieve them. Often this involves persisting in the face of failures or setbacks. Self-regulation is crucial for enabling people to do this.^[4]

3. Give Them Choices

A child who has good self-regulation will be able to see potential options in a situation, weigh each option, and make a determination of the best choice. Children who are always told what to do, how to do it, and when to do it may end up with poor self-regulation because they aren’t allowed the opportunity to practice making decisions.

Children should be allowed to make simple choices throughout the day from a young age. For example, ask a toddler if they want milk or juice at snack time. It really doesn’t matter to the parent which choice is made, since they are both healthy options for the child.

The point is to create opportunities that allow choices in various situations, so that the child can learn to make their own choices and understand how decisions lead to consequences.

The choices and options should increase with their age. For example, asking a five year old which shoes they want to wear to school. They can make the choice. If they end up selecting rain boots and they discover at school that they are difficult to run in at recess time, then they will have learned a lesson through their own decision making. The lesson should help them make a better choice the next time.

This kind of choice-making opportunity helps a child to learn about planning and thinking ahead. Planning is an integral part of self-regulation.

4. Give Them Planning Opportunities

Planning helps a child to self regulate their behavior. “It [self regulation] is related to emotional control and planning as well as the control of one’s own behavior.”^[5]

Planning how to react in a tough situation can help a child with self-regulation. If your child has a tendency toward lack of self-regulation in specific situations, then help them to plan ahead.

For example, if your child throws a tantrum when their little league baseball team loses a game, then help them plan ahead. Discuss how they will act if they win and how they will react if they lose. You can talk to them about how they have a choice to make about their behavior in that moment.

Help them to plan ahead for the decisions that they must make in tough situations. When they make bad choices or plan poorly, it is also an opportunity for you to discuss how they could do things differently next time.

5. Play!

Play helps children to develop self-regulation skills. One such way, as proven in research, is “children learn to inhibit their impulsive behavior and follow rules which transform their behavior from impulsive and spontaneous to mediated and voluntary.”^[6].

For example, when children are playing a game with their peers, they learn to follow the rules. They will find out quickly that if they don’t follow the rules or if they cheat, their peers will react. They may be kicked out of the game or they may be scolded by their peers. Play gives them the opportunity to practice self-regulation in real life scenarios that children can understand.

6. Model Good Self-Regulation Skills

A child watches their parents and caregivers. They will watch to see what kind of behavior is modeled. That is part of human development. Children watch, learn, and imitate those around them.

Therefore, parents and caregivers must be aware of their own self0regulation skills.

How do you react when things don’t go your way in life? Do you raise your voice and curse? Are you impulsive, or do you take a moment to pause and make the best decision possible in every situation? Do you plan ahead and make good choices?

Children learn from us. We must make an effort to practice good self-regulation skills, so that our children can learn positive self regulation from us.

Final Thoughts

Circling back to the story at the start of this article, I want to address the situation with the girl who had no self-regulation skills apparent that particular day. Perhaps if her parents had helped her to set a goal of learning to ski that day and discussed how she should behave in class so she could maximize the learning opportunity, she may have acted better.

However, in her case, her behaviors were so far from normal self-regulation that she probably would have required professional intervention (counseling or behavior modification therapy) to behave in a normal manner in a group ski lesson.

If you have ever seen a ten-year-old child who acts like a two year old, then you too have seen how important the development of self-regulation skills are in life. The older the child gets, the more difficult it is to change set behaviors.

Help your child learn good self regulation starting as a toddler, and continue teaching them as they learn and grow.

More on Positive Behaviors in Children

• 5 Tips For Teaching Money Management To Children
• How To Make Your Kids Responsible And Productive
• 7 Positive Parenting Techniques to Raise Happy Kids

Featured photo credit: MI PHAM via unsplash.com

Reference

[1]	^	American Psychological Association: Temperament, Attention, and the Development of Self-Regulation.
[2]	^	Developmental Psychopathology: Biological processes in prevention and intervention: The promotion of self-regulation as a means of preventing school failure
[3]	^	ResearchGate: Self Regulation Through Goal Setting
[4]	^	Improving Competence across the Lifespan: Self-Regulation as a Key to Success in Life
[5]	^	American Psychological Association: Temperament, Attention, and the Development of Self-Regulation.
[6]	^	Early Childhood Development and Care: Does play promote self-regulation in children?

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'Attitude of gratitude' keeps older people in Japan feeling hopeful as they age

Older people in Japan have an 'attitude of gratitude' which keeps them feeling hopeful despite the challenges of aging, a new study says.

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8 Ways To Make Your Long-Distance Marriage Work

It is no surprise to couples that creating a happy marriage is hard work and full of challenges that they have to overcome. Couples that have to face the challenge of maintaining a connection despite a long-distance marriage, however, take the prize for one of the most difficult obstacles to overcome in their relationship.

It is estimated in a 2017 study by the Statistic Brain Research Institute that 3.75 million marriages are considered to be a long-distance marriage. And according to the Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships, the number of long-distance marriages is on the rise due to increased travel for work and internet dating.^[1]

The good news is that although it is estimated in a more recent study that long-distance marriages have a 58% success rate, this statistic is not any worse than the current success rate of traditional marriages.^[2]

So, what actually is the hard part of a long-distance marriage?

Feeling connected is one of the most challenging obstacles to overcome in a long-distance marriage. According to a study, the most difficult issue that long-distance marriages face is the lack of feeling connected to their partner’s daily life.^[3] This disconnection leads to decreased intimacy and can erode the relationship over time.

Since relationships are either growing or dying, this feeling of disconnect must be addressed daily, which can be quite challenging for couples separated by distance. Over the years of working with couples through the Couples Synergy method, I have found that those who are successful at navigating a long-distance marriage practice 8 things that ensure their success.

Here are 8 ways to make your long-distance marriage work:

1. Get Creative With Quality Time

Quality time is necessary for couples to nurture their connection. In the book The Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work by John Gottman, it is recommended that couples spend 5 hours of quality time together without distractions. This can be extremely difficult for long-distance couples, especially if they are new to the separation.

Long-distance couples need to be creative when spending quality time together, and technology can play a significant role.

For example, one couple we work with has a standing virtual “meeting’ every Friday evening even though they cannot be together physically. They use this time to connect and share their common vision, which is important when spending quality time together. Whatever a couple chooses to do, this time needs to be distraction-free.

2. Stimulate as Many Senses as Possible

When we are in love, all of our senses seem to be stimulated. Just given the traditional five senses, our sight, sound, taste, smell, and touch senses become alive with every moment we spend with our partner.

When we are apart from our spouse as in the case in a long-distance marriage, these senses can lack the stimulation necessary for bonding with our partner. Couples in a long-distance marriage must get creative when apart and find ways to stimulate these senses in each other. Whether you send a picture, audio file, a delivered food or scent, or something your partner can touch themselves with, these creative ideas activating all of these senses can facilitate connection.

3. Virtual Intimacy

Technology has increased our ability to connect with people all over the world in an instant. It has also created new ways to express sexual desires and intimacy between lovers when they cannot be together in the same space.

Companies like kiiroo.com have developed apps and sexual toys designed to connect a couple who is especially separated by long distances using technology to enhance intimacy. Getting creative with phone/virtual sex, intimate pictures, sexting, and virtual masturbation can help with the disconnect long-distance marriages often feel in their intimate lives.

4. Letter Writing

Romantic movies have been made about couples separated by distance and how their love was kept alive by the letters they wrote to each other. There is just something about receiving a letter in the mail that holds much more meaning than a text or email, and this is something that couples in a long-distance marriage can replicate in their relationship.

Writing letters to your spouse can spark loving feelings that cannot be duplicated by any other form of communication, and they can be revisited at any time to keep the feeling of connection fresh even when their partner isn’t available.

5. Fall Asleep Together

The act of falling asleep together in the same bed may be something a traditional couple takes for granted, however, lacking this connection can be wearing over time for a long-distance marriage.

A client I had several years ago was engaged and was separated from his fiance for six months due to work obligations. He and his fiance got into the habit of falling asleep together over facetime. He reported that it gave him a sense of calmness and normalcy when he would wake up to see his fiance still sleeping on the screen.

Technology advances have created opportunities for long-distance couples to share in this intimate moment, even if snoring might be involved! Beginning and ending the day together even virtually leaves both people feeling a sense of belonging, significance, and connection.

6. Transparency

As mentioned above, one of the most difficult challenges long-distance marriages face is a feeling of disconnection from their partner daily. When partners are not aware of what their spouse is experiencing just because they are not spending as much time together as traditional couples, this can breed worry and assumptions.

According to the Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships, long-distance couples do worry more about infidelity than traditional marriages.^[4] Thus, when transparency isn’t a standard in their relationship, this can add to more worry and more disconnection.

Transparency can be in the form of letting your partner know where you are going, who you are spending time with, what you are spending money on, or what you are communicating on social media. It is important to note that this is not about seeking permission or being controlled by your partner but having consideration for your partner’s feelings and not allowing insecurities to develop.

7. Healthy Boundaries With Friends

The fact is that long-distance couples will not spend nearly as much time together as traditional couples will just because of their physical separation. This doesn’t mean that while apart you should isolate yourself socially. In fact, according to a study, people in long-distance marriages tend to isolate themselves from others and focus on work to alleviate any loneliness they may feel.^[5]

It is important for people to have a healthy social life and support system even if they cannot be with their partner. With that said, it is important to have healthy boundaries with the people you spend time with when away from your partner.

For example, your spouse should know the people you are spending time with as well as what you are doing with them. Also, the people you spend time with should have equal respect for your marriage and not push any boundaries that might disrespect your spouse.

8. Surprises

Surprising your partner is essential in any relationship, and it is just as important in any long-distance marriage. This can be tricky for couples separated by distance and can take creativity and planning to implement.

Surprises—because they are unsolicited and unexpected—communicates a message to your spouse that you are thinking of them and that you took the time and effort to show them. These surprises do not have to be expensive or extravagant. In fact, it is the smaller gestures that seem to mean the most.

For example, a client of mine wanted to surprise his wife who travels for work and arranged for her favorite candy to be delivered to her hotel room. Another client arranged for their spouse to be taken to an indoor skydiving facility to celebrate his birthday. The gestures can be endless and yet pay out in great rewards in the end.

Final Thoughts

Every kind of marriage faces specific challenges unique to their situation, and long-distance marriages are no exception. Couples must realize that marriage takes work and long-distance marriages face obstacles that traditional marriages do not have to face.

It is important for couples separated by distance to acknowledge their limitations and adapt to new ways of connecting with each other to continue developing their relationship. In these ways, long-distance marriages can ensure a closer connection with their spouse and reach out to each other across the divide.

More Tips on How to Make Long-Distance Relationships Work

• How to Make Long Distance Relationships Work for You
• 21 Best Tips On Making A Long Distance Relationship Work
• 10 Reasons A Long-Distance Relationship Will Work

Featured photo credit: Justin Follis via unsplash.com

Reference

[1]	^	Statistic Brain Research Institute: Long Distance Relationship Statistics
[2]	^	Kiiro: Long-Distance Relationship Troubles
[3]	^	The Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships: Long Distance Relationship Frequently Asked Questions 2018
[4]	^	The Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships: Long Distance Relationship Frequently Asked Questions 2018
[5]	^	The Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships: Long Distance Relationship Frequently Asked Questions 2018

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Abnormal hyperactivation in the brain may be an early sign of Alzheimer's

A psychology and neuroscience professor has just targeted an early biomarker of the disease.

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'Aging well' greatly affected by hopes and fears for later life

If you believe you are capable of becoming the healthy, engaged person you want to be in old age, you are much more likely to experience that outcome, a recent study shows.

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Strange colon discovery explains racial disparities in colorectal cancer

The colons of African-Americans and people of European descent age differently, new research reveals, helping explain racial disparities in colorectal cancer.

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See how they run: 'Exercise protein' doubles running capacity, restores function and extends healthy lifespans in older mice

A new study shows that humans express a powerful hormone during exercise and that treating mice with the hormone improves physical performance, capacity and fitness. Researchers say the findings present new possibilities for addressing age-related physical decline.

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Age provides a buffer to pandemic's mental health impact, researchers say

Older adults are managing the stress of the coronavirus pandemic better than younger adults, reporting less depression and anxiety despite also experiencing greater general concern about COVID-19, according to a recent study.

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8 Traits of the Most Resilient Person

What is it about a good underdog story that everyone seems to love? Is it the fact they accomplished their dreams when no one believed in them? Or could it be their unwillingness to give up in the face of defeat? Regardless of what captured your attention, there is one important trait always found in an underdog—resilience. Do you want to learn the traits of a resilient person so you can develop the trait within yourself?

Here are the 8 traits all resilient people share, so you can start accomplishing your goals and live your dream life.

1. Optimistic

Staying motivated is a key trait of the most successful people, but how do they stay motivated? Sure, when things are going well, staying motivated isn’t difficult. However, when you hit a rough patch, motivation can quickly fade.

To stay motivated through the ups and the downs, you need to maintain a certain level of optimism. When your present environment leaves something to be desired, it will cause most people to quit. However, a resilient person will allow their optimistic view of the future to guide them.

2. Planner

Optimism can only get you so far. If you continue to face setbacks and challenges, it is only natural for someone to question if they are on the right path. A resilient person recognizes blind optimism can leave you running in the wrong direction. That is why you need a proper plan. By researching and understanding the results you want to create in your life, you will know with confidence you are on the right path.

When asked how it felt to win his fourth NBA Championship, LeBron James said he had faith because he had a process. He knew if he continued to do the things that won him a past championship, he would win another. Even though he missed the playoffs the previous season, he did not change his process. He knew the plan worked in the past, so it would work again in the future. You need to find someone who has created the results you seek and model their plan.

3. Resolute

Failure is a natural and reoccurring part of life. Tenacity is the key difference between those who achieve their goals and those who fall short.^[1]

Those who are persistent in the face of failure will eventually overcome any challenge. You may have heard the saying, “it is difficult to beat someone who never quits.” As simple of a saying as it is, you can immediately recognize the truth.

Who is a resilient person? The person who understands that it is not that the successful never fail, it’s that they simply never quit. If you are willing to stay the course, you will achieve the results you want.

4. Disciplined

Discipline is the ability to do what you need to do when you need to do it. Most will agree that discipline is one of the most difficult things to master. That is why it is so important for a resilient person to be a disciplined person.

Relying on self-discipline can be difficult, to say the least. That is why it is important to limit your need to use your own discipline all the time.

One good approach is to work with others. When you are a part of a mastermind or have an accountability partner, you have an extra layer of discipline at your disposal.^[2] Whether you meet once a week, once a month, or once a year, you need to choose a schedule that works for you and your goal.

If you want your partnerships to work out more frequently, you may need to meet multiple times a week. However, if your goal is to do some traveling, meeting once a quarter to make sure you are on track may be sufficient.

5. Resourceful

Resourcefulness is your ability to solve everyday problems. It is not simply a measurement of your intellect and cognitive abilities. Someone who is resilient uses their resourcefulness to process information emotionally as well as intellectually.

Studies show stress negatively impacts the performance of people who have a low level of resourcefulness. In fact, these studies note there is a direct relationship between resourcefulness and sociability, resilience, creativity, and self-awareness.^[3] If you are ready to be a resilient person, then you must be ready to use some creative ways to solve problems.

6. Patient

As you have probably started to notice from the list of traits, you need to be committed for the long haul. Things are not always going to materialize immediately. Sometimes, it is a timing issue and you are doing everything right. The opportunity just needs time to emerge.

Consider a gardener who plants the seed of an orange tree on Monday and looks for a full-grown tree a week later. You understand that is not reasonable because you know it takes time for a seed to mature. It also takes water, sunlight, and nutrient-rich soil. We haven’t even talked about the years you would need to wait for your orange tree to produce fruit.

The problem is that most people don’t have a clear understanding of how long their goal will take to accomplish. You need to be reasonable and patient through the process.

7. Grower

Someone who is resilient is not only patient in the process but patient with themselves, too. There are times when you are not yet the person you need to be to accomplish the goal you seek.

Another way to look at it is to recognize the habits of your life and the results they create. Someone who is healthy has a different set of daily habits than someone who is unhealthy. A successful investor has a different relationship with money than someone who doesn’t save anything. There is a growth each of you will go through as you work to achieve your goal.

This is much like a video game or your favorite action movie in many ways. In the beginning, you are not wise or strong enough to defeat the villain. Somewhere along the way, you lose and it requires you to reevaluate your effort. You then go off to train and become stronger. By the end, you have become a better version of yourself and you rise to the challenge to defeat your foe.

Someone who is resilient knows they have the ability to overcome life’s challenges if they continue to invest in their development.

8. Honest

Being honest is both an act of courage and an act of self-awareness. It is an act of courage because it requires you to do what is right, regardless of the circumstances.

Most resilient people know their efforts are not always going to be met with love and adoration. Yet, they still continue. They continue not because they are looking for recognition or applause. They continue because they are doing what they believe needs to be done.

Most people are uncomfortable with the idea of being rejected by others. As a result, most people live a life that is not true to themselves. This is where self-awareness comes in. Even though most people do not live a life true to themselves, they are not aware of it. Being honest to others is one thing, but being honest to yourself is another.

Most people disguise their fabrications in the guise of being reasonable. They will say reasonable people give up on their dreams because dreams are for children and unreasonable themselves. This falsehood is the number one killer of dreams and people’s ability to be resilient. You must be honest with yourself about what it is that you want to accomplish with your life and be willing to go for it.

Final Thoughts

Who is a resilient person? If you are willing to add these traits to your life, you will be. The most resilient person is the person who stays the course when others would have quit. They recognize most people underestimate what they can accomplish in five years but overestimate what they can accomplish in one

The path to greatness is not always easy, but for those who are willing to stay the course, it is always worth it. Stay true to yourself and be willing to invest your time and resources into accomplishing your goals.

More Tips on How to Be a Resilient Person

• What Is Resilience and Why Is It Important for Success?
• How to Build Resilience to Survive in This Difficult World
• 10 Strategies Resilient People Use To Bounce Back When Life Knocks Them Down

Featured photo credit: Drop the Label Movement via unsplash.com

Reference

[1]	^	International Journal of Emergency Mental Health: Seven Characteristics of Highly Resilient People: Insights from Navy SEALs to the “Greatest Generation”
[2]	^	Entrepreneur: An Accountability Partner Makes You Vastly More Likely to Succeed
[3]	^	Edutopia: Teaching for Life Success: Why Resourcefulness Matters

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Immune driver of brain aging identified

Stanford scientists have identified a key factor in mental aging and shown that it might be prevented or reversed by fixing a glitch in the immune system's frontline soldiers.

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When a Student Couldn’t Pay Tuition Fees, Prison Inmates Rallied to Raise $32k to Help

In the prison system, crime and punishment go hand in hand. Crime and rehabilitation, while often cited as a goal of correctional facilities, is usually more elusive. That’s why when it does come about, it’s all the more meaningful. Not long ago, inmates at California’s Soledad Prison pooled their resources—earned at from eight cents to […]

The post When a Student Couldn’t Pay Tuition Fees, Prison Inmates Rallied to Raise $32k to Help appeared first on Good News Network.

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NAD+ can restore age-related muscle deterioration, research finds

Scientists have discovered that Alzheimer's-like protein aggregates underly the muscle deterioration seen in aging. But the aggregates can be reversed by boosting the levels of nicotinamide adenine dinucleotide (NAD+), which turns on the defense systems of mitochondria in cells and restores muscle function.

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Officer Eugene Goodman Escorts Kamala Harris During Inauguration–After Congress Introduces Bill to Give Him Medal of Honour

Capitol police officer Eugene Goodman, who’s being called a hero for single-handedly steering a mob away from the Senate chambers on January 6, escorted Kamala Harris to the presidential inauguration ceremony on Wednesday. He was there in his new role as acting Deputy House Sergeant at Arms. Goodman has been celebrated since footage was released showing him […]

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4 Most Critical Motivation Theories to Boost Your Productivity

We all dream big about how our lives should be, but it’s the motivation that drives us to act consistently towards making those dreams a reality. However, despite our best intentions, for a lot of us, this motivation is fleeting. It comes and goes, and the fluctuating drive often takes a toll on our productivity. For centuries, psychologists have been fascinated and intrigued by human behavior and have developed various motivation theories on what drives humans to act a certain way. Let’s look at how you can use these motivation theories to boost your productivity.

Herzberg’s Two Factor Theory

Understanding that there is a direct link between satisfaction and productivity is the easiest way to move towards increased efficiency. Think about it—if your work gave you a sense of pleasure and satisfaction instead of stress, would you complain about work or procrastinate? The question we must ask ourselves then is, "what brings work satisfaction?" Frederick Herzberg’s motivation theory explains two types of factors that can be used to regulate our levels of satisfaction and dissatisfaction—hygiene and motivation factors.((Management Study Guide: Herzberg’s Two-Factor Theory of Motivation)) Hygiene factors are the bare minimum essential aspects that prevent dissatisfaction. While the presence of hygiene factors will not give rise to enormous satisfaction, the absence of this satisfaction will create extreme discontent. Hygiene factors include compensation, job security, social needs, work environment.

How Herzberg's Two Factor Theory Increases Your Productivity

1. Compensation

Being underpaid is the silent killer of satisfaction. If you’re continually feeling undervalued or taken for granted at work, then compensation can be the problem. Observe yourself in a regular workday and assess if your lack of motivation to work arises from not getting paid what you deserve. If so, then it’s time to rake up the courage and ask for a raise or renegotiate the pricing for your services, so you feel rightfully compensated for your time, energy, and efforts.

2. Work Environment

Your environment has to be conducive to your productivity. Whether you work from the office or home, choose a spot where you can work uninterrupted. De-clutter your desk, decorate it to your personal preferences, and set the ambiance right to get you going as soon as you enter your work environment.

3. Socializing Needs

Whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert, building harmonious relations is key to developing a healthy state of mind.

4. Security

You cannot be productive or motivated if you’re constantly feeling insecure about your role. If you’re an employer, ensure that security for your team members to flourish and thrive. If you’re employed, reach out to your supervisor to have a conversation on your role, position, and the company’s vision to get that confidence.

Motivator Factors

Once the basics are right, Herzberg identifies another set of factors called motivator factors. These help individuals’ level-up their performance and motivate them to work harder. Here are some examples of motivator factors:

1. Engaging in Meaningful work: We are much more productive if we believe in what we are doing. Find meaning in what you do and be clear on why you’re doing what you do—this is the ultimate way to boost your productivity.
2. Celebrating Wins: Often, we fail to recognize our accomplishments and celebrate what we get right. Being mindful of the tasks on your to-do list and having a small ritual at the end of the day to celebrate accomplishing them can motivate you to work harder to celebrate more often.
3. Identify rewards: Humans are aspirational, and knowing what rewards you’ll get for the work you do can be a great way to keep yourself going. Rewards could be a promotion you become eligible for or a trip to Iceland on hitting that business turnover goal. Defining the reward and visualizing it can be a great way to boost productivity and stay motivated.

Today’s motivators are tomorrow’s hygiene because the latter stop influencing their behavior once they achieve them. So, as you grow, you need to upgrade your motivator factors to fuel the drive that keeps you going.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is one of the most relatable motivation theories. The theory is based on the fact that nothing motivates us more than our own needs. Here, humans’ needs are bifurcated into a hierarchical manner from a lower order to higher order forming a pyramid. Once a given level of need is satisfied, it no longer serves to motivate a person. Then, the next level of need becomes the motivating factor. The 5 levels of needs, according to Abraham Maslow, are:((verywellmind: The 5 Levels of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs))

1. Physiological needs: This is the primary and most basic need of any human being-the survival need for food, shelter, air, water, etc. Physiological needs are most critical as the human body cannot function optimally unless these needs are fulfilled.
2. Safety needs: Once survival is assured, humans begin to long for safety and security. Examples of safety needs are emotional security, financial security, protection from physical danger, health and well-being, etc. Fulfilling these needs requires more money, and hence humans are motivated to work harder.
3. Social needs: Humans are social beings. Our need to socialize, longing for companionship, and craving to belong comes next in the hierarchy. For example, friendships, love, trust, and a sense of belonging to a tribe or community are required to better quality of life.
4. Esteem needs: We have the need to be respected. Fulfillment of these needs leads to building self-confidence, realizing one’s own strength, capability, and value.
5. Self-actualization needs: Only when all other needs are fulfilled does the self-actualization need comes into the picture. This is the highest spiritual aspiration where one can dive within and become the best version of oneself. Maslow estimated that only 2% of the people would reach the state of actualization.

How Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs Increases Your Productivity

According to the theory, the lowest level of unmet need is the prime motivator of behavior. Figure out where do you stand in the hierarchy, which is your unmet need. That is your motivator. Take steps towards fulfilling those needs so that you can move towards self-actualization ultimately. Begin with making concrete plans to fulfill your fundamental needs—safety and financial security. Then, look at love and belonging. Do you have like-minded people you connect with? If not, find ways to meet new people and form relations. It could be a spin class or a yin yoga session nearby. Be a part of social groups or communities and engage in meaningful conversation. For the self-esteem needs, examine your life and assess if you engage meaningfully across. If your career seems stagnating, explore how you can transition to more challenging job opportunities. If your personal life seems to be slacking, have conversations with your significant other to see how you can make your relationship stronger and meaningful for both of you. When all these needs are met comes the biggest question of finding your purpose. Each of us has unique experiences that make specific work more meaningful to us than others. Finding your purpose is finding that area of work that speaks to you and calls to you and finds expression through you. You can introspect to identify this for yourself or work with a coach to find your true calling and chart out the path towards living that life for yourself.

Hawthorne Effect

Another useful motivation theory is the Hawthorne Effect, which suggests that there exists a tendency to work harder and perform better when we are being observed. During an experiment, researchers altered several physical conditions to affect productivity, but employee productivity increased each time.((verywellmind: The Hawthorne Effect and Behavioral Studies)) The study proved that we are motivated to work harder and perform better when we know that our work is being observed.

How the Hawthorne Effect Increases Your Productivity

At work, this happens automatically as we all have supervisors and leaders observing and evaluating our performance periodically. So, we don’t slack professionally. However, since we are not answerable to anybody in our personal lives, we end up dropping the ball. A simple way to implement the Hawthorne Effect in your personal life to boost productivity is to have an accountability buddy. You don’t need a boss or your supervisor to keep an eye on you twenty-four seven. All you need is a buddy.

1. Pair up with your friend or co-worker to be your accountability buddy. If your friend is from the same field, even better.
2. Communicate your short-term—weekly or daily—goals to each other.
3. Design a schedule on how you plan to achieve these goals and monitor each other’s progress
4. For better control, you can even decide punishments if the other one fails to achieve their goals.

Personal growth can be fun and fulfilling with an accountability partner by your side throughout the journey.

Expectancy Theory

This motivation theory states that our behaviors are directly influenced by the results we expect as an outcome of our actions.((ScienceDirect: Expectancy Theory)) The theory proposes 3 elements our motivation relies on:

• Expectancy: We act based on how likely our efforts are expected to deliver favorable results. Our expectations are molded by our past experiences, self-confidence, and the level of difficulty of the goal we plan to undertake.
• Instrumentality: This is the belief that we will receive the reward if we put in the necessary efforts or behave in a particular fashion.
• Valence: This refers to how valuable the reward is to an individual. For some, money could be a powerful motivator while for others, recognition is. Our motivation is higher when the reward is valuable for us.

How the Expectancy Theory Increases Your Productivity

Whenever you set intentions for yourself, spend time actually penning down why you're aspiring for the goal and the results you hope to achieve. This is why vision boards are beneficial because you visualize the outcome of your efforts, which motivates you to keep at it. For any goal you are working towards, write out the outcomes you anticipate, how you will feel when you achieve them, and why the result is crucial to you. As you work towards it, review this document time and again to keep yourself motivated.

Final Thoughts

Motivation theories provide insight into how we can find that motivation in our daily lives and be more productive. As we start a brand-new decade, it is time we make our dreams a reality. Employ the motivation theories that resonate most with you and enhance your drive and energy to work towards your goals consistently, and make it count.

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last for long. Well, neither does bathing, that’s why we recommend it daily.” —Zig Ziglar

More Tips on How to Increase Your Motivation

• Positive Motivation vs Negative Motivation: Which One Is Better?
• 9 Types of Motivation That Make It Possible to Reach Your Dreams
• Why Intrinsic Motivation Is So Powerful (And How to Find It)

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