Tuesday, April 9, 2019

Why Are You Stuck? 5 Questions to Shift Your Mindset And Get Unstuck

Most people struggle with mastering their mindset, they feel stuck in their lives, careers, and relationships. They struggle to find a way to move forward. They have big dreams, but they feel like something is holding them back. If you feel this way, you are not alone. Most people want to increase their productivity and profitability. They want to have better relationships and better lives. However, getting unstuck is about having a better mindset and tactics. Ignoring the mindset will not lead to durable change. In this article, I will mention five questions that have the potential to help you master your mind, gain a better understanding of your emotions, manage your time better and help you get unstuck. A positive mindset is the most powerful weapon in your quest for success. The road to success is hard,  it is full of obstacles, and adversity. If you doubt yourself, you won’t be able to attain the success that you deserve. Mastering your mindset requires you to unleash your inner strength, avoid negative self-talk, and ask yourself the tough questions:

1. What Is Holding You Down?

"The hard choices—what we most fear doing, asking, saying—these are very often exactly what we most need to do." -- Tim Ferris
My inner voice held me down for a long time. It convinced me that I was not smart enough, strong enough or good enough to do what I was trying to do. I finally learned to silence my inner voice and go after my dreams. If you feel stuck and your inner voice is holding you down. Ignore that voice. Some people allow fears to keep them stuck in their situations. Fear has the ability to keep you stuck and control your mindset. Tim Ferris silence his fear by stating his fear out loud,
"By becoming familiar with the worst case scenario, you begin to melt the fear holding you back."
He designed an exercise called 'fear-setting,"((CNBC: Tim Ferriss' simple 3-step strategy for managing fear is his secret to business success)) Ferris learned when he faced his fear on paper, it was easier to defeat it in real life. He understood that fear was holding him down and preventing him from accomplishing his goals. What is holding you down?

2. Whose Permission Are You Looking For?

"You Don' t need permission to chase your dreams. Go execute."  -- Gary Vaynerchuk
You do not need anyone's permission to be yourself and to share your gifts. Gary Vaynerchuk, a serial entrepreneur and New York Times Best Selling Author, wants to write a new book about giving yourself permission to do your thing.((Gary Vaynerchuk: Permission)) He believes that the only permission you need to be yourself is your own permission. Give yourself permission to be great. When you want something, go for it. Do not wait for others to approve your choices. If you want to quit your job, quit. You do not need your friend's approval to do it.  If you want to improve your relationships with your kids, start today. You do not need your ex-wife permission to do it. If you want to lose weight, start eating healthy. Do not worry about what other people think of you. As a little kid, I was fascinated by writing short stories, but I was too afraid of what other people would say about my writing. I was waiting to be picked, for someone to tap on my shoulder, and ask me to write. I was waiting for permission. If you want to do something, stop asking for permission, and go make great things happen. When you succeed, your fans will show up, do not worry about them, start shipping your work.

3. What Ignites Your Fire?

“The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire.” -- Ferdinand Foch
If you want to get unstuck and grow, you need to start asking yourself, "What ignites my fire?"  Answering this question will get you closer to your goals, and it will help you master your mindset. Find out what ignites your fire. What makes you happy? What drives you? Steve Jobs knew what ignited his fire, he was obsessed about design. His obsession started when he was a little child, he loved the idea of simple and elegant design. Anytime he faced with a problem and felt stuck, he asked himself, "What is my obsession?" The answer was always the same, simple design.((Smithsonian: How Steve Jobs’ Love of Simplicity Fueled A Design Revolution)) Designing simple products is what ignited his fire. Find out what you are obsessed about, and you will find what ignites your fire. If you want to get unstuck, adopt the finding the fire mindset, and ask yourself  "What ignites my fire?" Feeding the fire will keep you focused, motivated and productive. Find and fuel the Fire.

4. What Commitments Are You Making?

“The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.”  -- Vince Lombardi
If your marriage is not as good as you like it to be, check your commitments. If your relationships with your kids, it is not where it should be, revisit your commitments. If you are not earning the money that you like to earn, recheck your commitments. Your commitments are the bridge between you and your ideal life. Commitment is a mindset that is guaranteed to get your unstuck from any situation you find yourself in. Being stuck is not about lack of knowledge, it is about lack of execution. If you want to execute your plans, adopt a commitment mindset. Commitment mindset is about accountability and ownership. If you want better results in life, own your problems. If you want faster results, be accountable for your work. Commitment is the bridge between you and your goals. If you want to get unstuck, commit to doing the work. Ken Blanchard talks about the importance of commitment,
“There’s a difference between interest and commitment. When you’re interested in doing something, you do it only when it’s convenient. When you’re committed to something, you accept no excuses; only results.”
If you want to get unstuck and move your life forward, stop accepting excuses, and commit to doing the work.

5. What Change Are You Seeking?

"In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety." -- Abraham Maslow
If you want to master your mindset, you have to be clear about the change that you are seeking. Are you trying to have a better work-life balance? Are you trying to launch your first business? Are you trying to regain your health? Are you trying to manage your emotion better? Are you trying to build a better relationship with your spouse? What change are you seeking? Once you get clear on your goals, it is easier to get unstuck and shift your mindset. Be clear on your goals, and the change that you are seeking. In 1954, Roger Bannister was 25 years old, a medical student at St. Mary Hospital in London. Bannister was vocal about running a mile in under 4 minutes. He devised a new training regimen, he started to run alone more frequently and with harder intervals. The British press called him a 'lone wolf' and suggested that he needed to change his regimen if he is serious about competing.((The New York Times: He Beat the Clock)) He would spend hours envisioning himself crossing the finish line in under 4 minutes. He shifted his mindset  from "This is an impossible goal" to "I want to be the first to do this." At that time, it was considered a physical impossibility to do that, but he focused on psychological training more than his physical training. He started to master his mindset. Bell Taylor wrote in HBR that Bannister understood that he had to overcome a psychological barrier first and a physical barrier second.((Harvard Business Review: What Breaking the 4-Minute Mile Taught Us About the Limits of Conventional Thinking)) On May 6, 1954, Roger Bannister ran a mile in under four minutes - 3:59.4 to be exact becoming the first human being ever to do so. Roger Bannister silenced his inner voice, gave himself the permission to be great, understood that running alone ignited his fire, made a promise to be the first human to break the 4-minute mile, and he was very clear about the change he was seeking.

Final Thoughts

If you are stuck, ask yourself the above five questions. Once you answer them, you will realize that you are more powerful and capable than you realize. Stop letting fear, society and your inner voice slow you down. You have the power within yourself to follow your own dreams and achieve your goals. It starts in your head, and your head can be a scary place to be. Don’t allow your negative mindset to take control of our own feeling. A little self-criticism is a good thing, it can be a reality check that recalibrate your actions. On the other hand, excessive self-criticism tends to prevent you from moving forward and cause you to identify with your shortcomings. Instead of beating yourself up, and identifying yourself with your shortcoming, take a few deep breaths and reflect. Instead of saying I’m a failure, say I failed at this project. Do not say I’m a smoker, say I smoke. Focus on the action that you like to change instead of focusing on your feeling. Start practicing positive talk, instead of saying I’m overweight, say I would like to lose 5 pounds and I know how to do it. Make the choice to be kind to yourself, and stop all negative self-talk. Answering these five questions will unleash your inner strength, allow you to master your mindset, and get you unstuck from any undesired situation you find yourself in. These answers will be your guide to master your mind, build better relationships, manage your time, conquer your crises, overcome daily obstacles and increase your productivity.

More Resources to Help You Get Unstuck



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