A common skin bacterium put children with severe eczema at higher risk of food allergy

Scientists from King's College London have found that young children with severe eczema infected with Staphylococcus aureus (SA) bacterium, are at a higher risk of developing a food allergy.

from Skin Care News -- ScienceDaily http://bit.ly/2EL8OVL

Circadian clocks: Body parts respond to day and night independently from brain, studies show

Researchers have suspected that the body's various circadian clocks can operate independently from the central clock in the hypothalamus of the brain. Now, they have found a way to test that theory.

from Healthy Aging News -- ScienceDaily http://bit.ly/2Z0uTXR

Cold-parenting linked to premature aging, increased disease risk in offspring

New research suggests that unsupportive parenting styles may have several negative health implications for children, even into their adult years. The study found that the telomeres -- protective caps on the ends of the strands of DNA -- of subjects who considered their mothers' parenting style as 'cold' were on average 25% smaller compared to those who reported having a mother whose parenting style they considered 'warm.'

from Healthy Aging News -- ScienceDaily http://bit.ly/2W4Y1vb

How to Live in the Present and Make Your Time Count

When you woke up this morning, you had a whole day ahead of you. And, when you go to bed, that same day will have passed. This is just how time works, isn't it? You're losing time every second; and try as you may, you can never turn the clock back. Time is such a precious and limited resource, yet often we neglect or abuse it, thinking that there's still time left. We're sometimes so focused on the wrong priorities that we end up spending our precious time on things that won't matter in the long run. And, we may not be spending enough time on the things that do matter. Have you ever reflected on how you're spending your waking moments? Maybe you could use more time in the day to get more work done. Or perhaps you crave spending more time with your family, but always feel overwhelmed with everything on your plate. You might have always wanted to start a hobby, or try something new, but never had the time to because of existing responsibilities. Well, if you don't start now... will you ever? Ask yourself, 'am I really living my best life?'  Below are a few techniques to help you be more aware of your time spent, and how to truly make every second count.

Be Mindful of the Present

Mindfulness can sometimes be a vague term. People often try to be mindful, or in the present, when on holidays, or when spending time with their loved ones. But, what does it really mean to be mindful of the present? Well, it simply means to bring awareness to what you're doing. It's a practice that trains your brain to be more efficient and better integrated with your surroundings, so you're less distracted and more focused. It also helps to minimize stress and allows you to become your best self. So how can you practice mindfulness? It need not take up any of your free time. You can practice mindfulness during routine activities such as when you're brushing your teeth, taking a shower, eating breakfast or walking to work. Zoom in on the sights, sounds, smells, tastes and feelings of these activities that you would otherwise be doing on auto-pilot. A good time to practice is first thing in the morning when you wake up, as it helps set the ‘tone’ of your nervous system for the rest of the day, increasing the likelihood of other mindful moments. One thing to note is that when you're practicing mindfulness, it's okay to let your mind wander. You don't always need to be aware, as the act of noticing that your mind has wandered, and then bringing it back to awareness is in itself beneficial. Our brains respond better to bursts of mindfulness, so it's better to be mindful several times a day, rather than a lengthy one hour session, or even going to weekend retreats. For example, you could focus on how your feet feel in those shoes as you're walking to work, or how your throat and tongue feels when you're sipping on your morning coffee. These only take mere minutes of awareness. Lastly, the best way to cultivate mindfulness in everyday life is to train yourself to meditate. Practicing meditation is learning the language of being present, and helps us tap into mindfulness with little effort.

Appreciate the Here and Now

Besides practicing mindfulness, it's also beneficial to appreciate what you have in your life at this very moment. Whatever you’re doing, whether it's a fun project or a mundane task, appreciate every moment of it, and make an effort to find the enjoyable aspects within it. For example, when walking to your car or to work, really feel the sensations of the pavement on your feet, the breeze in the air, the sights around you. Anything can be enjoyable if you train yourself to see it that way. This can also be applied to doing laundry, washing dishes, or filing taxes! You don't need to only be grateful for the big things in life like money or material possessions. It's the little things in life that if you can appreciate and find meaning in, you're one step closer to truly living in the moment. Stop Multitasking Now this is a controversial one. It used to be that if you could multitask, you were seen as being more efficient and getting more done in less time. However these days, most productivity gurus would agree that multitasking is not the way to go about with efficiency. Shocked? Well, the simple explanation is that when you multitask, your concentration or attention is being split with the number of things you're trying to get done. As a result, you're actually less focused on each task which results in lower productivity, and likely more time needed or lower quality results. So as much as you want to save time, it's better to focus on one task at a time. When you feel the urge to switch to other tasks, pause, breathe, and pull yourself back into the single task you are currently focusing on.

Be Fully Present When Around Others

Often, when we spend time with others, we’re not really there with them. Physically, we may be present, but a lot of times we're distracted by our phones or other devices. If not these, we might be distracted in our minds--thinking about the errands we need to run, or the email we need to reply to, or the dinner plans that we have the next evening. Other times we may listen, but we’re actually thinking about ourselves and what we want to say to the person. This is all pretty common human behavior that most of us are guilty of, but the good news is that with effort, you can shut off the outside world and just be present with the people you’re spending time with. This is a more effective use of your time and helps you connect with people rather than just being in the presence of them. Most people appreciate a deeper connection, especially with those whom they value, so really take time to make that happen.

Take Smartphone Breaks

Now, this is a common tip of which you're probably familiar. But, it's also really helpful-- especially when you're finding yourself constantly distracted at work, or at home while trying to relax. It's useful to disconnect from your phone so that you can focus on other things. The advantage to being connected all the time, of course, is that you have constant and immediate access to news, information, and alerts. But, the downside of that is also that it means you're at the mercy of those incoming demands and alerts. You become accustomed to immediate responses, sometimes at the expense of other experiences. Professor Leslie Parlow of Harvard Business School found in a study that of 1,600 managers and professionals, 70% said they check their phones within an hour of waking up; 56% check their phone within an hour of going to sleep; 51% check their phone continuously during vacation; and 44% said they would experience ‘a great deal of anxiety’ if they lost their phone and couldn’t replace it for a week.((Barri Sambaris: Break the smartphone addiction and increase your productivity)) You may argue that you're not spending your time playing games or going on Facebook, but instead doing something more valuable. But, it's not what you're doing that matters as much as the time you lose when you switch back to a task. When distracted by your phone, and acted upon, it takes up to 23 minutes to get back to the level of concentration where you left off before the interruption. So, if you let your phone interrupt you every 10 minutes, think about how much time and resources you’ve lost in a day?

Don't Rush Through Life

At the end of the day, we all have a limited amount of time on earth, so we should strive to make the most of it. That doesn't mean we should be rushing and trying to do everything at once, so that we forget to smell the roses, be present with our loved ones and appreciate the little things in life. It's more important to know that the time you're spending is spent meaningfully, and that you're prioritizing the right things. If you haven't been living in the present, the time is now! Start practicing some of the tips I've shared above and watch your life transform slowly, as you move towards making every second count.

from Lifehack - Feed http://bit.ly/2XbCRx6

How to Stop Yourself from Sabotaging Relationships

Love can be challenging at times, especially when you really care about keeping your relationship healthy. The ability to maintain a relationship in the long term isn’t a skill that most people naturally have. You want to make your relationship work yet the reality is that you sometimes sabotage your relationships without even knowing it. Luckily, there are practical ways to stop yourself from sabotaging relationships effectively and I’d like to share some of these helpful methods with you today.

1. Communicate Your Standards and Values Early in the Relationship

You need to know what’s important to you and communicate it early in the relationship. A couple may have been together for five years and now they have major problems. However, closer examination shows that the root of their problems didn’t rock up recently. In fact, the seed of their most common issue of contention was planted very early in the relationship. This happened because the couple didn’t communicate their values and standards at the beginning of their relationship. Initially, they were so crazy about each other; and being truly, madly and deeply in love, they chose to ignore communicating one of the most important parts of a healthy relationship: their values and standards. For example, you’re in a new relationship. Knowing you value quality time together; you expect your partner to have a date night with you at least once a week. However, you soon discover your partner is a workaholic who wants to work seven days a week and is unwilling to invest more time in you. Because you are wildly attracted to them, you ignore this warning flag and continue to emotionally invest in being in a relationship with them. The potential problem is that the attraction isn’t sustainable because the dynamics in this relationship and your values aren’t compatible. In the long term, you become resentful as your partner never seems to have time for you. Then you wonder why you are sabotaging your relationship because you are frequently triggered into angry reactions due to your needs not being met. You know the truth is that you didn’t communicate your values and set your standards early in the relationship, and this has led to ongoing conflict within you. It’s up to you to communicate important values in the early stages of your relationship. A relationship will naturally follow the course and direction you choose for it. If you want to stop yourself from sabotaging relationships, you need to clearly communicate your wants and needs. If you expect your partner to miraculously know your needs without clearly communicating them, chances are you will constantly be disappointed when they are not met. When you are communicating your standards to your partner, remember to be kind, polite and sincere. It’s always easier for someone to accept your viewpoint when they can see you are being mindful of respecting their feelings. In the second place, avoid playing games. Note that honesty is the best policy in all communication with your partner. He or she will appreciate your honesty in this regard because that shows your integrity and strength of character. If you really want to be in a relationship with a person with conflicting values, clear communication becomes even more paramount. For instance, you would like your partner to spend more time with you every weekend, but your partner wants to work 12 hours a day, 7 days a week. You can say this to him or her, “Honey, I understand that your work is very important to you and I really admire your work ethic. Honestly, it will be better for our relationship if we can spend more time together every weekend, because I miss you when you are working all day Saturday and Sunday. Which day do you think we could schedule some time to spend together?” In this example, there is no “but”. When you say something then inject the word “but”, it detracts from what you previously said. For example, if you were to say, “… I really admire your work ethic, but…”, this “but” eliminates the previous statement of appreciation as the word strongly points out something completely different from what you’ve just said. While it is ideal to be in a relationship where you don’t have conflicting values; clear, kind and honest communication goes a long way to preventing you from sabotaging your relationship.

2. Respect Each Other’s Boundaries

Like values, boundaries need to be clearly defined and articulated. Some years ago, I had a client who told me that her husband always brought his friends to their house for drinks every Friday night, and his drunk and loud friends wouldn’t leave until 2:30am. That happened every single week. She was frustrated and upset. Further examination revealed that this client and her husband had different boundaries around their social life. She preferred more one-on-one time with her partner; however, an essential requirement for her husband was to spend time drinking with his friends. In her opinion, her husband would have been well-advised to take his friends somewhere else for drinks most weeks and maybe bring his friends to their house only twice a year. In contrast, her husband thought it was perfectly okay to bring his friends to their house every week. Neither of them was wrong. They just had different boundaries. Unresolved boundary issues need to be resolved, otherwise they can eventually lead to separation and divorce. The solution to this couple’s problem was to find a happy medium. For example, she could allow her husband to bring his friends to their house every 6 weeks, and her husband could go to his friends’ places on most Friday nights. In the end, my recommendation was that her husband and his friends took turns to host Friday night drinks each week. That worked out well for them, because it was an effective way to respect each other’s boundaries, thereby stopping each of them from sabotaging the relationship. It’s important to note here that each partner needs to spend time fulfilling their own needs. Depending too much on your partner for your happiness will eventually sabotage your relationship. This is because it puts pressure on your partner to be responsible for your happiness. Happiness is the result of your thoughts, words and actions so make sure you regularly indulge in pursuits which enhance your sense of self and develop you as a person.

3. Focus on the Qualities Your Partner Possesses That You Love

It’s too easy to indulge in negative thinking and to allow little annoyances to become the main point of focus in your relationship. This can become the start of the end and sabotage your relationship unless you take immediate steps to correct your focus. In terms of your partner, it’s miraculous to witness how the more you focus on the qualities they have that you love, the more these qualities come forward and the less you even notice the things that bug you about them. This is because there’s a part of your brain which makes you notice more of whatever you focus your attention on. You may have heard of the Law of Attraction; your Reticular Activating System is your brain’s biological equivalent. When you consistently acknowledge your partner’s positive qualities, he or she leans more in that direction due to the reward pathway being activated in their brain. In psychology, this is called positive reinforcement.((Very Well Mind: Positive Reinforcement and Operant Conditioning)) Dopamine and oxytocin are released in the brain’s reward pathway; these hormones naturally make us feel good which motivates us toward further similar actions to activate further rewards. If you would like your partner to do more of what you want, you can use positive reinforcement to make it happen (but please use this technique in an empowering way). For example, you really want your partner to go shopping with you. Sadly, that’s not his favorite activity. Next time he goes shopping with you, you can say this to him, “You know what, when we go to the shopping mall together, I feel really lucky because most men wouldn’t happily go shopping with their women. The fact that you are willing to have more shared experiences with me really turns me on.” Now what he has actually heard is: When he goes shopping with his lady, his lady is turned on by him. Every man wants to turn on his woman! From now on, he will more likely be happy to go shopping with you.((Matthew Hussey: Get the Guy: Use the Secrets of the Male Mind to Find, Attract and Keep Your Ideal Man)) The important thing to remember here, is to be honest and sincere with your positive reinforcement. We can always sense when a comment is forced, and as such it will sound false, have a negative effect and possibly sabotage your relationship. Remember that praise and appreciation are best expressed in the moment they are felt.

4. Eliminate Blame

There are many ways that blame can sneak into your relationship, however, it is usually in the way that we word things that makes it sound like we are blaming and therefore sabotaging our relationships. Saying things like, “Don’t waste money on books” rather than “Honey, since we need to save money for our house, I’d appreciate it if you could borrow books from the local library instead of buying books online.” In the example above, “don’t” is a negative word. Psychologists claim that our subconscious mind doesn’t understand the word “don’t”, although logically we know what it means. Consequently, that person’s partner receives this message: “buying books is wasting money and it has annoyed him, so he is blaming me.” No one likes being blamed, and being on the defensive makes it harder biologically for an individual to feel motivated to change their behavior. When you blame others, you give up your power to change. Blame and false accusations are at the crux of most relationship breakdown. Sometimes it seems easier to blame your partner than to take responsibility for your words and actions (or lack of them).((The Dating Directory: How to Be the Best Version of Yourself Part 1:3)) How many times have you been in an argument with your partner and felt like you were being falsely accused? Neither of you agree on what was said. You are both adamant that you are right and do your best to prove that your partner is wrong (to prove that you are right). Your voices rise as you struggle to feel heard, feel understood and to defend your stance. Our brains are complex and during a heated debate when we are triggered, our ancient emotional brain kicks in. This affects our short-term memory, our ability to hear, and our ability to communicate clearly. Because our cognitive processing is affected when we are emotionally triggered, we cannot accurately remember what was said and not said. When you argue, there are instances where both or you are wrong and both of you are right… but unless you recorded the argument, neither of you can prove who said what. Arguing your point and blaming your partner not only sabotages your relationship, due to how your brain works it is a complete waste of time. It’s better to admit that you could be wrong… because insisting that you are right and blaming your partner will sabotage your happiness as well as your relationship. As the old saying goes: it’s better to be happy than to be right.

5. Be Aware of the Importance of Intimacy

This is a topic that most people avoid talking about, but it’s one of the most significant topics in a relationship. In general, there are three pillars in a relationship: emotional connection, attraction alignment and intimacy. Therefore, as one major pillar in a relationship, intimacy is of vital importance. It is said that most couples make love frequently at the beginning of their relationships because that’s the honeymoon stage. Unfortunately, within three years, a lot of couples stop making love. This is sad, but true. Actually, it happens more often than you think. One in three couples suffer from intimacy problems. People just don’t want to talk about it either because of a religious upbringing, or because it’s become such a sensitive topic they don’t know how to approach it. Due to the nature of my work, I have helped many couples overcome their intimacy challenges. I’ve also helped many individuals overcome the grief and loneliness associated with losing their partner due to unresolved intimacy challenges. In other words, sexless marriages rarely last. We are not taught how to drive our bodies sexually. This often results in confusion and frustration for a person trying to complete the act. I do apologize if this statement isn’t the prettiest thing to say. However, many relationships fall apart due to intimacy challenges and if they aren’t addressed, reluctance on either or both partners to engage sexually will eventually result. A disappointing sex life often results in either partner having a low libido((Dr. Joe Today: 3 Practical Ways to Boost a Low Libido)) which leads to a sexless marriage… or no marriage at all. In order to maintain a healthy and sexy relationship, you must invest your time and energy in your pleasure. Dr Christiane Northrup, author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom states that pleasure is your birthright. How many times have you had random thoughts during sex that were unrelated to the sexual act? Or you’ve thought about your work, your business or your finances during sex? In which case, how does your brain know that you want your sexual programs activated? Not knowing how to be in charge of your biology can sabotage intimacy as well as your relationship. You are entitled to pleasure. But you also need to know how to balance your pleasure to stay in charge of your body sexually. Focusing on the wrong thing at the wrong time is the culprit of most intimacy issues and applies to both men and women. This can be easily rectified with the correct knowledge and technique. It’s exactly what we need to learn if we want to stop ourselves from sabotaging our relationships. Therefore, you are strongly recommended to seek professional advice if you need help in this regard. Don’t wait until your relationship is already falling apart.

The Bottom Line

Many people believe that they must switch off their emotional brain and switch on their logical brain in order to be successful. But ignoring the power of the emotional brain is a way to sabotage their relationships. While you cannot ignore your biology, you can learn how to harness it; mentally, emotionally and physically. To sum up, the above-mentioned strategies are high-leverage methods of stopping yourself from sabotaging relationships. Remember to incorporate these techniques in your relationship gradually, and you’ll benefit from them in record time.

More Articles About Relationships

• What Is a Relationship Timeline and Should You Follow It?
• How to Go Through Different Stages of Relationships and Keep the Peace
• How to Regain Broken Trust in a Relationship
• What You Really Need to Fix Insecurity in a Relationship Forever

from Lifehack - Feed http://bit.ly/2Mfso2w

How to Stop Yourself from Sabotaging Relationships

Love can be challenging at times, especially when you really care about keeping your relationship healthy. The ability to maintain a relationship in the long term isn’t a skill that most people naturally have. You want to make your relationship work yet the reality is that you sometimes sabotage your relationships without even knowing it. Luckily, there are practical ways to stop yourself from sabotaging relationships effectively and I’d like to share some of these helpful methods with you today.

1. Communicate Your Standards and Values Early in the Relationship

You need to know what’s important to you and communicate it early in the relationship. A couple may have been together for five years and now they have major problems. However, closer examination shows that the root of their problems didn’t rock up recently. In fact, the seed of their most common issue of contention was planted very early in the relationship. This happened because the couple didn’t communicate their values and standards at the beginning of their relationship. Initially, they were so crazy about each other; and being truly, madly and deeply in love, they chose to ignore communicating one of the most important parts of a healthy relationship: their values and standards. For example, you’re in a new relationship. Knowing you value quality time together; you expect your partner to have a date night with you at least once a week. However, you soon discover your partner is a workaholic who wants to work seven days a week and is unwilling to invest more time in you. Because you are wildly attracted to them, you ignore this warning flag and continue to emotionally invest in being in a relationship with them. The potential problem is that the attraction isn’t sustainable because the dynamics in this relationship and your values aren’t compatible. In the long term, you become resentful as your partner never seems to have time for you. Then you wonder why you are sabotaging your relationship because you are frequently triggered into angry reactions due to your needs not being met. You know the truth is that you didn’t communicate your values and set your standards early in the relationship, and this has led to ongoing conflict within you. It’s up to you to communicate important values in the early stages of your relationship. A relationship will naturally follow the course and direction you choose for it. If you want to stop yourself from sabotaging relationships, you need to clearly communicate your wants and needs. If you expect your partner to miraculously know your needs without clearly communicating them, chances are you will constantly be disappointed when they are not met. When you are communicating your standards to your partner, remember to be kind, polite and sincere. It’s always easier for someone to accept your viewpoint when they can see you are being mindful of respecting their feelings. In the second place, avoid playing games. Note that honesty is the best policy in all communication with your partner. He or she will appreciate your honesty in this regard because that shows your integrity and strength of character. If you really want to be in a relationship with a person with conflicting values, clear communication becomes even more paramount. For instance, you would like your partner to spend more time with you every weekend, but your partner wants to work 12 hours a day, 7 days a week. You can say this to him or her, “Honey, I understand that your work is very important to you and I really admire your work ethic. Honestly, it will be better for our relationship if we can spend more time together every weekend, because I miss you when you are working all day Saturday and Sunday. Which day do you think we could schedule some time to spend together?” In this example, there is no “but”. When you say something then inject the word “but”, it detracts from what you previously said. For example, if you were to say, “… I really admire your work ethic, but…”, this “but” eliminates the previous statement of appreciation as the word strongly points out something completely different from what you’ve just said. While it is ideal to be in a relationship where you don’t have conflicting values; clear, kind and honest communication goes a long way to preventing you from sabotaging your relationship.

2. Respect Each Other’s Boundaries

Like values, boundaries need to be clearly defined and articulated. Some years ago, I had a client who told me that her husband always brought his friends to their house for drinks every Friday night, and his drunk and loud friends wouldn’t leave until 2:30am. That happened every single week. She was frustrated and upset. Further examination revealed that this client and her husband had different boundaries around their social life. She preferred more one-on-one time with her partner; however, an essential requirement for her husband was to spend time drinking with his friends. In her opinion, her husband would have been well-advised to take his friends somewhere else for drinks most weeks and maybe bring his friends to their house only twice a year. In contrast, her husband thought it was perfectly okay to bring his friends to their house every week. Neither of them was wrong. They just had different boundaries. Unresolved boundary issues need to be resolved, otherwise they can eventually lead to separation and divorce. The solution to this couple’s problem was to find a happy medium. For example, she could allow her husband to bring his friends to their house every 6 weeks, and her husband could go to his friends’ places on most Friday nights. In the end, my recommendation was that her husband and his friends took turns to host Friday night drinks each week. That worked out well for them, because it was an effective way to respect each other’s boundaries, thereby stopping each of them from sabotaging the relationship. It’s important to note here that each partner needs to spend time fulfilling their own needs. Depending too much on your partner for your happiness will eventually sabotage your relationship. This is because it puts pressure on your partner to be responsible for your happiness. Happiness is the result of your thoughts, words and actions so make sure you regularly indulge in pursuits which enhance your sense of self and develop you as a person.

3. Focus on the Qualities Your Partner Possesses That You Love

It’s too easy to indulge in negative thinking and to allow little annoyances to become the main point of focus in your relationship. This can become the start of the end and sabotage your relationship unless you take immediate steps to correct your focus. In terms of your partner, it’s miraculous to witness how the more you focus on the qualities they have that you love, the more these qualities come forward and the less you even notice the things that bug you about them. This is because there’s a part of your brain which makes you notice more of whatever you focus your attention on. You may have heard of the Law of Attraction; your Reticular Activating System is your brain’s biological equivalent. When you consistently acknowledge your partner’s positive qualities, he or she leans more in that direction due to the reward pathway being activated in their brain. In psychology, this is called positive reinforcement.((Very Well Mind: Positive Reinforcement and Operant Conditioning)) Dopamine and oxytocin are released in the brain’s reward pathway; these hormones naturally make us feel good which motivates us toward further similar actions to activate further rewards. If you would like your partner to do more of what you want, you can use positive reinforcement to make it happen (but please use this technique in an empowering way). For example, you really want your partner to go shopping with you. Sadly, that’s not his favorite activity. Next time he goes shopping with you, you can say this to him, “You know what, when we go to the shopping mall together, I feel really lucky because most men wouldn’t happily go shopping with their women. The fact that you are willing to have more shared experiences with me really turns me on.” Now what he has actually heard is: When he goes shopping with his lady, his lady is turned on by him. Every man wants to turn on his woman! From now on, he will more likely be happy to go shopping with you.((Matthew Hussey: Get the Guy: Use the Secrets of the Male Mind to Find, Attract and Keep Your Ideal Man)) The important thing to remember here, is to be honest and sincere with your positive reinforcement. We can always sense when a comment is forced, and as such it will sound false, have a negative effect and possibly sabotage your relationship. Remember that praise and appreciation are best expressed in the moment they are felt.

4. Eliminate Blame

There are many ways that blame can sneak into your relationship, however, it is usually in the way that we word things that makes it sound like we are blaming and therefore sabotaging our relationships. Saying things like, “Don’t waste money on books” rather than “Honey, since we need to save money for our house, I’d appreciate it if you could borrow books from the local library instead of buying books online.” In the example above, “don’t” is a negative word. Psychologists claim that our subconscious mind doesn’t understand the word “don’t”, although logically we know what it means. Consequently, that person’s partner receives this message: “buying books is wasting money and it has annoyed him, so he is blaming me.” No one likes being blamed, and being on the defensive makes it harder biologically for an individual to feel motivated to change their behavior. When you blame others, you give up your power to change. Blame and false accusations are at the crux of most relationship breakdown. Sometimes it seems easier to blame your partner than to take responsibility for your words and actions (or lack of them).((The Dating Directory: How to Be the Best Version of Yourself Part 1:3)) How many times have you been in an argument with your partner and felt like you were being falsely accused? Neither of you agree on what was said. You are both adamant that you are right and do your best to prove that your partner is wrong (to prove that you are right). Your voices rise as you struggle to feel heard, feel understood and to defend your stance. Our brains are complex and during a heated debate when we are triggered, our ancient emotional brain kicks in. This affects our short-term memory, our ability to hear, and our ability to communicate clearly. Because our cognitive processing is affected when we are emotionally triggered, we cannot accurately remember what was said and not said. When you argue, there are instances where both or you are wrong and both of you are right… but unless you recorded the argument, neither of you can prove who said what. Arguing your point and blaming your partner not only sabotages your relationship, due to how your brain works it is a complete waste of time. It’s better to admit that you could be wrong… because insisting that you are right and blaming your partner will sabotage your happiness as well as your relationship. As the old saying goes: it’s better to be happy than to be right.

5. Be Aware of the Importance of Intimacy

This is a topic that most people avoid talking about, but it’s one of the most significant topics in a relationship. In general, there are three pillars in a relationship: emotional connection, attraction alignment and intimacy. Therefore, as one major pillar in a relationship, intimacy is of vital importance. It is said that most couples make love frequently at the beginning of their relationships because that’s the honeymoon stage. Unfortunately, within three years, a lot of couples stop making love. This is sad, but true. Actually, it happens more often than you think. One in three couples suffer from intimacy problems. People just don’t want to talk about it either because of a religious upbringing, or because it’s become such a sensitive topic they don’t know how to approach it. Due to the nature of my work, I have helped many couples overcome their intimacy challenges. I’ve also helped many individuals overcome the grief and loneliness associated with losing their partner due to unresolved intimacy challenges. In other words, sexless marriages rarely last. We are not taught how to drive our bodies sexually. This often results in confusion and frustration for a person trying to complete the act. I do apologize if this statement isn’t the prettiest thing to say. However, many relationships fall apart due to intimacy challenges and if they aren’t addressed, reluctance on either or both partners to engage sexually will eventually result. A disappointing sex life often results in either partner having a low libido((Dr. Joe Today: 3 Practical Ways to Boost a Low Libido)) which leads to a sexless marriage… or no marriage at all. In order to maintain a healthy and sexy relationship, you must invest your time and energy in your pleasure. Dr Christiane Northrup, author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom states that pleasure is your birthright. How many times have you had random thoughts during sex that were unrelated to the sexual act? Or you’ve thought about your work, your business or your finances during sex? In which case, how does your brain know that you want your sexual programs activated? Not knowing how to be in charge of your biology can sabotage intimacy as well as your relationship. You are entitled to pleasure. But you also need to know how to balance your pleasure to stay in charge of your body sexually. Focusing on the wrong thing at the wrong time is the culprit of most intimacy issues and applies to both men and women. This can be easily rectified with the correct knowledge and technique. It’s exactly what we need to learn if we want to stop ourselves from sabotaging our relationships. Therefore, you are strongly recommended to seek professional advice if you need help in this regard. Don’t wait until your relationship is already falling apart.

The Bottom Line

Many people believe that they must switch off their emotional brain and switch on their logical brain in order to be successful. But ignoring the power of the emotional brain is a way to sabotage their relationships. While you cannot ignore your biology, you can learn how to harness it; mentally, emotionally and physically. To sum up, the above-mentioned strategies are high-leverage methods of stopping yourself from sabotaging relationships. Remember to incorporate these techniques in your relationship gradually, and you’ll benefit from them in record time.

More Articles About Relationships

• What Is a Relationship Timeline and Should You Follow It?
• How to Go Through Different Stages of Relationships and Keep the Peace
• How to Regain Broken Trust in a Relationship
• What You Really Need to Fix Insecurity in a Relationship Forever

from Lifehack - Feed http://bit.ly/2Mfso2w

When Mom Wanted to Build Walker for Her Son, Home Depot Workers Sent Them for Ice Cream and Got to Work

When Christian Moore told these employees what she was planning on building for her son, the workers gently ushered her out the door and got to work.

The post When Mom Wanted to Build Walker for Her Son, Home Depot Workers Sent Them for Ice Cream and Got to Work appeared first on Good News Network.

from Good News Network http://bit.ly/2Mdfpyk

Thousands of People Have Been Encouraged By Mom’s Yard Signs – and Their Feedback Has Been Amazing

It has been two years since an Oregon woman started planting encouraging signs in people's yards – and the resulting testimonials have been amazing.

The post Thousands of People Have Been Encouraged By Mom’s Yard Signs – and Their Feedback Has Been Amazing appeared first on Good News Network.

from Good News Network http://bit.ly/2YVyKFB

Elderly Man Gazing Fondly at His Date in McDonald’s Inspires Thousands of Romantics Online

A simple moment of affection between an elderly couple in McDonald's has won the hearts of thousands of internet users since it was uploaded last week.

The post Elderly Man Gazing Fondly at His Date in McDonald’s Inspires Thousands of Romantics Online appeared first on Good News Network.

from Good News Network http://bit.ly/2JHIIHh

Man Taught Himself to Play the Trumpet Solely So He Could Play Taps for Fallen Soldiers

This Minnesota man is now 70 years old, but he refuses to stop paying his respects to fallen veterans soldiers as a means of atoning for his regret.

The post Man Taught Himself to Play the Trumpet Solely So He Could Play Taps for Fallen Soldiers appeared first on Good News Network.

from Good News Network http://bit.ly/2JE5DU1

When World Hears About Cello Prodigy Living in Poverty, it Sends a Crescendo of Blessings – GNN Podcast

Eddie struggled with his 5 siblings and single mom in a homeless shelter. Never did he dream of being on stage as the lead cellist in an orchestra. Hear our Good News Guru tell the inspiring story on the radio in Los Angeles—during the May 24, 2019 Ellen K. Morning Show on KOST-103.5. SEE video and the full story on GNN… […]

The post When World Hears About Cello Prodigy Living in Poverty, it Sends a Crescendo of Blessings – GNN Podcast appeared first on Good News Network.

from Good News Network http://bit.ly/2QAJXZp

13 Things to Put on Your Daily Checklist for Increased Productivity

Did you know that many C-level executives play computer games at work to "feel more productive"? It is ironical, but it's the truth today. People are using whatever they can to become (more) productive and daily checklists are just one of the things. But there is a good way and a bad way to create a daily checklist. One will super boost your productivity, the other one will be a mind-numbing task which you will stop doing in two days. To avoid the latter, I have devised only 13 things you need to have on your daily checklist to super boost your productivity and it starts with your morning routine. Whatever you do in life, you need to have a morning routine which is consistent. It is your anchor for starting the day and if you skip it, your entire day will be off track. There is a reason a phrase "start off the day on the wrong foot" persisted over millennia. I won't tell you what your morning routine should be because nobody can tell you that, but what I can tell you is that it should have certain elements and they are the following.

1. Sleep 8 Hours

You need to sleep for 8 hours. Period. There is a plethora of research which says that you need 8 hours of sleep to be productive and cognitively optimal during the day. But what is even scarier is that there is a ton of research done on the effects lack of sleep brings to people and the results are devastating. So if you want to be productive, sleep would be the first thing on your daily checklist.

2. Early Physical Activity

I don't mean an hour-long session in the gym. You can do that if that's your things, but by this, I mean simple stretching, maybe a 10-minute walk, or a short 5 to 7 minutes long exercise. You just need something to wake up your body and get the blood flow going. One example would be Tony Robbins who jumps into his pool and swims a couple of laps. Use whatever physical exercise works for you for as long as you need to wake up.

3. Eat Some (Healthy) Food

Food gets energy in your body early in the morning and wakes up your mind in a different way than exercise. You need food in the morning and I hope you will eat something healthy because that has the best benefits for your mind and for your body. There are multiple diets out there that tell you that their diet is the best diet. Try out a couple of different diets and stick with the one which suits you the best. Remember, the goal of the daily checklist is that only needs to work for a single person - for you.

4. Do Your Favorite Unproductive Activity

An unproductive activity in the morning in an article on daily productivity using a checklist? Yes, I understand the irony but remember the C-level executives? You Are Not A Robot. You are a human being and we need fun, unproductive, and lazy time. If you spend 10 to 20 minutes in the morning doing your favorite unproductive activity, you will settle down "the instant gratification monkey" everyone has inside of us.((Wait But Why: Why Procrastinators Procrastinate)) Once you're done with it, you will clear it from your mind and carry on. Some people watch YouTube, some play Minesweeper or BubbleSpinner (guilty...), but you can do whatever you like. That's why it's your favorite unproductive activity.

5. Personal Reflection Time

It's not necessarily meditation. Meditation is just one thing you can do for your personal reflection time. You can also spend a couple of minutes for yourself to center yourself for the upcoming day. Some people call it gratitude,((Benjamin Hardy, PhD: This 75-Year Harvard Study Shows How To Have Lifetime Joy)) but to me, it's just personal reflection time. I do this by walking toward my workplace while listening to music. It can be whatever works for your - a prayer, a minute of silence, sitting down in the car and doing nothing, etc.

6. A 10-Second Plan

Most people elaborate on their charts, sheets, daily plan through 7 different applications. And that's why it doesn't work. You are smart. But like, really smart. Otherwise, you wouldn't be reading this. You already know what the most important thing you have to do today is. If I gave you only 10 seconds right now to plan your day to be productive, that activity would be the only one in those 10 seconds. That is your plan for today. Do only that for today and your day will be productive. But that is easier said than done. I know. That's why we are only at the half of the article. All of these above were the things that you do when you're home or commuting. But now, let's go over the things you do when you get to work.

7. Get Yourself into a Working Frame by Reading

When they get to work, most people first sit down, open their browser and randomly scroll the internet for half an hour. But not you. You know better. You should sit down and open up a book or an article which is related to your field of work. This is really important. Once you read an article or a couple of pages of a book which is related to your field of work, your brain will put a focus on that information and it will start producing some marvelous ideas and solutions. The most important thing here is that it can't be scrolling over Facebook or Instagram. It needs to be something which puts your mind into the right field and working state. Before writing this article, I reread certain parts of Atul Gawande's Checklist Manifesto, Brendon Burchard's High Performance Habits, and Eric Barker's Barking Up The Wrong Tree. Put yourself into the right frame of mind and you're almost there.

8. Kill Distractions

Okay, if Jenny from the office is a distraction, don't literally kill her- it's just a phrase. But I used the word kill for a specific reason. You need to behave toward distractions in that kind of a way. Kill it wherever you deem possible. Put your front page on your browser to something which won't seduce you into procrastinating. Use headphones even if you don't listen to music because your colleagues will know that you mean business when they are on. Close the doors and shut the drapes. Turn off Wi-Fi on your phone. No distractions make you work - because there is nothing else to do and your brain is already in that state of mind. Take a look at these tips on How to Minimize Distraction to Get Things Done.

9. When Tired, Rest. Don't Quit!

Since I'm a writer, taking a nap in the middle of the day to rest is a possibility and almost a daily occurrence for me (sometimes I take a long walk instead). You will get tired during the day and when that happens, don't try to push through it. Simply stop working and go rest. The problem here is that nobody ever taught us how to rest and our culture looks at that as laziness. There is a major difference between the two, but the most important thing when resting is that you 100% rest. So no working, no thinking about working, and no working (I had to re-state that for some workaholics out there). I was writing an article which was a summary of every single personal development book I read in the past two years (90 books in total).((Growth Habits: How I Read 90 Books In The Past 2 Years By Reading 20 Pages A Day)) The article took me two months and 100+ hours to finish. But I learned to rest when I was tired, so I managed to finish it even though the size of it is comparable to a book. When tired, rest. Don't quit. When necessary, schedule downtime for yourself too.

10. Know When the Day Is Done

I've seen people who are super productive themselves, but they think that they are lazy and unproductive because there is always more you can do. That is the problem of not knowing when the day is done. Point 6 was "A 10-seconds plan." If you managed to finish that in the day, it was a productive day and the day is done. Nothing more, nothing less. You did the one thing you planned for the day. Don't torture yourself thinking that you need to work 16 hours a day to be productive. That's not productivity, that's torture. Stop when you're done and call it a day.

11. Track Your Day

This comes at the end of the article and the day because you need to check things off the daily checklist. By tracking your day, you realize what you did and didn't do for that day. After a couple of days of working everything from your checklist, the goal becomes not to "break the chain." This is something attributed to Jerry Seinfeld who, when asked how he became a great comedian, responded:

"I just wrote one joke a day and then tried not to break the chain on my calendar."

Track your daily checklist because you will grow a habit of doing it. You may want to make use of these apps to keep track of your day: 24 Best Habit Tracking Apps

12. Reward Yourself

The best thing after a productive day is the reward you get by being productive. Don't ignore this thing on your daily checklist. If you've done everything from the checklist, give yourself a proper reward for that. It will make your brain remember the activity as pleasurable and it will become easier for you to do it. Learn to celebrate small wins so you'll stay motivated and keep up the momentum.

13. What Got You Here, Won't Get You There

A checklist is a tool which you use; so understand that over time, your life, work, job, situation, and position will change. And alongside that, your daily checklist will change as well. Realize that the things which got you in this position doesn't necessarily have to be the things that will get you further along. Things change and your checklist should change accordingly.

The Bottom Line

You now have all the 13 things for your daily checklist which will make you super productive. Put it somewhere visible where it can look at you every single morning and every single evening. That will remind you to do the activities from the checklist. And if you keep doing it, eventually, it will bring you massive results. Every journey, no matter how long, always begins the same way - with a single step. You've already made two steps - you've read this article and learned what you need to have on your daily checklist. The third step is implementation and it's yours to make.

More Articles About Productive Habits

• Need Morning Motivation? 30 Morning Routines to Help You Start Afresh
• Powerful Daily Routine Examples for a Healthy and High-Achieving You
• The Ultimate Night Routine Guide: Sleep Better and Wake Up Productive
• 16 Everyday Habits of Highly Productive People

from Lifehack - Feed http://bit.ly/2Xbyt0U

How interval training affects 'belly fat' in obese 70-year-olds

Researchers have designed a study to learn more about the effects of a 10-week, easy-to-perform, personalized, progressive vigorous-intensity interval training among 70-year-olds with 'belly fat.'

from Healthy Aging News -- ScienceDaily http://bit.ly/2VXKGVB

Does your health in middle age predict how healthy you'll be later in life?

In a new study, researchers identified factors associated with brain health in middle age in order to identify ways to preserve brain function when people are older.

from Healthy Aging News -- ScienceDaily http://bit.ly/30RbWZs

Novel oncogenic function for receptor linked to Alzheimer's disease

Common and rare SORLA single nucleotide polymorphisms have been associated with the development of Alzheimer's disease. So far, SORLA has been mainly studied in neurons, but the new study focused on SORLA's role in cancer cells.

from Healthy Aging News -- ScienceDaily http://bit.ly/30PGuLk

High LDL linked to early-onset Alzheimer's

Researchers found a link between high LDL cholesterol and early-onset Alzheimer's disease. The results could help doctors understand how the disease develops and what the possible causes are, including genetic variation.

from Healthy Aging News -- ScienceDaily http://bit.ly/2wrDVkC

Newly discovered mechanism reveals how Parkinson's disease can spread between brain cells

Tiny channels between nerve cells are involved in a newly discovered mechanism of how Parkinson's disease can spread throughout the brain, according to new research from Linköping University, Sweden. The results demonstrate that harmful protein aggregates, or deposits, can bind and 'hitch a lift' with channel-forming proteins, and in this way spread to healthy cells. The study has been published in Acta Neuropathologica.

from Healthy Aging News -- ScienceDaily http://bit.ly/2Qy2567

Stem cell identity unmasked by single cell sequencing technology

Scientists have revealed the difference between a stem cell and other blood vessel cells using gene-sequencing technology.

from Skin Care News -- ScienceDaily http://bit.ly/2QrTC4m

Synthetic version of CBD treats seizures in rats

A synthetic, non-intoxicating analogue of cannabidiol (CBD) is effective in treating seizures in rats, according to research by chemists. The synthetic CBD alternative is easier to purify than a plant extract, eliminates the need to use agricultural land for hemp cultivation, and could avoid legal complications with cannabis-related products.

from Alternative Medicine News -- ScienceDaily http://bit.ly/2MoCJJM

Don't overdo omega-6 fat consumption during pregnancy

New research showed that eating a diet with three times the recommended daily intake of linoleic acid might be harmful in pregnancy.

from Alternative Medicine News -- ScienceDaily http://bit.ly/2Mkz13s

Stark social inequalities in children's body mass index (BMI)

Researchers have found that socioeconomic inequalities in children's body mass index (BMI) emerge during the preschool years and widen across childhood and into early adolescence. By analyzing data on height and weight (BMI) they found that lower maternal education was associated with faster gains in child body weight but lower height growth leading to a higher risk of overweight and obesity.

from Healthy Aging News -- ScienceDaily http://bit.ly/2wezPfy

ALS research reveals new treatment approach

New research on amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (AML) has revealed that a protein called membralin plays a key role in the disease process. The study suggests that membralin-boosting gene therapy is a potential therapeutic direction to treat this often deadly disease.

from Healthy Aging News -- ScienceDaily http://bit.ly/2HBLtrw

Pyrrolizidine alkaloid levels in dried and deep-frozen spices and herbs too high

Pyrrolizidine alkaloids (PA) are natural constituents detected all over the world in more than 350 plant species and suspected to occur in more than 6,000. Plants produce them as a defence against predators. Out of more than 660 known PA and similar compounds, the 1,2-unsaturated PA in particular have a health-damaging potential. Consequently, they are undesired in foods and feeds.

from Alternative Medicine News -- ScienceDaily http://bit.ly/2wkRpOQ

Virtual reality can spot navigation problems in early Alzheimer's disease

Virtual reality (VR) can identify early Alzheimer's disease more accurately than 'gold standard' cognitive tests currently in use, new research suggests.

from Healthy Aging News -- ScienceDaily http://bit.ly/2HzhMac

Skin patch shows promise for children with milk-induced eosinophilic esophagitis

A new study finds that a skin patch may be useful in treating children with a painful, chronic condition called eosinophilic esophagitis (EoE) triggered by milk. Among 20 children with EoE who wore Viaskin Milk -- a skin patch measuring just over an inch long containing trace amounts of milk protein -- nine saw an improvement in their symptoms and normalization of their biopsies after 11 months.

from Skin Care News -- ScienceDaily http://bit.ly/2K5CbFw

Octopus-inspired wearable sensor

Wearable electronics that adhere to skin are an emerging trend in health sensor technology for their ability to monitor a variety of human activities, from heart rate to step count. But finding the best way to stick a device to the body has been a challenge. Now, a team of researchers reports the development of a graphene-based adhesive biosensor inspired by octopus 'suckers.'

from Skin Care News -- ScienceDaily http://bit.ly/2M7dkE0

Exercise: Psych patients' new primary prescription

A new study advocates for exercise as the primary method of treatment and intervention, rather than psychotropic medications, within inpatient psychiatric facilities.

from Alternative Medicine News -- ScienceDaily http://bit.ly/2EmUwKQ

Weight gain and loss may worsen dementia risk in older people

Older people who experience significant weight gain or weight loss could be raising their risk of developing dementia, suggests a study from Korea.

from Healthy Aging News -- ScienceDaily http://bit.ly/2JTSJR6

Road to cell death mapped in the Alzheimer's brain

Scientists have identified a new mechanism that accelerates aging in the brain and gives rise to the most devastating biological features of Alzheimer's disease. The findings also unify three long-standing theories behind the disease's origins into one cohesive narrative that explains how healthy cells become sick and gives scientists new avenues for screening compounds designed to slow or stop disease progression, something existing medications cannot do.

from Healthy Aging News -- ScienceDaily http://bit.ly/2VYrTyw

Head injury effects halted by xenon gas, finds first ever life-long study in mice

Following traumatic brain injury (TBI), xenon prevented early death, improved long-term cognition, and protected brain tissue in mice in a new study.

from Healthy Aging News -- ScienceDaily http://bit.ly/2JxwD7k

People with benign skin condition willing to trade time, money to cure disorder

People with benign hyperpigmentation (the darkening or increase in the natural color of the skin), are willing to pay (WTP) nearly 14 percent of their monthly income and approximately 90 minutes a day to cure their condition.

from Skin Care News -- ScienceDaily http://bit.ly/2VRSywM

How to Prevent Inaction from Leading to Regret

How to Swiftly Make a Midlife Career Change

You wonder how they did it... How did your friend, a librarian at your public library, snag the fabulous marketing job at a digital ad agency? And how did the TV producer you’re acquainted with just become the prestigious publisher of an online parenting magazine? While you were watching “Game of Thrones,” how did so many of your peers manage to make a midlife career change that landed them in exciting new jobs? One thing your friends probably didn’t do: listen to the naysayers. There will always be some well-meaning family member or acquaintance who will counsel you against any sort of career change, saying it’s too big a risk. Aren’t your mid-30's to early 50's meant to be your optimal earning years where you advance up the ladder in your current field, this person may argue. Why would you want to sacrifice spectacular earnings for the paltry paycheck you will likely earn when you change careers? Because maybe it’s not all about money. Maybe you’ve decided that your chosen career path doesn’t have the allure it once had. Or maybe the change you’re after is about money! You realize that you’ve already reached the pinnacle of your earning potential at a figure well short of your original goal. Instead of being held back by this fact, it forces you to really examine your long-term career trajectory. Below, find your 5-Point Plan for how to swiftly make a midlife career change.

1. Allow Yourself the Luxury to Dream Big

Now that the idea has taken hold, what is your next step? You may have to reckon with financial responsibilities such as a home mortgage, a car payment, and a family to support, so making a rash move isn’t in your best interest. Still, give yourself the luxury of dreaming big. Give some thought to what your ideal career looks like: What’s your perfect job title? What responsibilities will make up your workday? What qualities would make for an outstanding boss and great colleagues? Make a list, and refer back to it as you consider new opportunities.

2. Do Your Due Diligence on Your Midlife Career Change

Next, do your homework. Understand the fundamentals of your dream job so there won’t be any unwelcome surprises later. Find out whether this occupation offers a respectable starting salary and is in a growth cycle. Explore any additional educational requirements and available programs. In this investigative stage, take an inventory of all the hard and soft job skills you have to offer. You probably have more transferable skills than you realize. For example, if you’ve been teaching high school science but want to venture into the medical research field, your classroom experience may have more crossover potential than you first thought. A scientist working in a medical university lab, for instance, may oversee undergraduates helping to carry out the research. Similarly, strong communications skills honed from teaching classes may make you a whiz at presenting research findings.

3. Think of Yourself as a Matchmaker

Look at job postings for your dream position -- and for a tier or two below it if you’ll need to work your way up. Consider how to adapt your abilities to the job requirements. Think of yourself as a professional matchmaker, creating a match between yourself and your potential employer. Pinpoint and promote those traits that make you most desirable, and know how to put your best attributes forward. Employers will be attracted to your technical expertise, but also to your people skills -- the soft skills that make you a good communicator, a reliable team player, and a value-driven employee. Suppose that you’re applying for a financial analyst or financial planner position. Hopefully you’ve earned a bachelor’s degree in a major that qualifies you, such as business or economics. Then showcase your accounting skills, analytical acuity, and dexterity with a spreadsheet. Many firms have their own software, so you’ll want to plug your overall knowledge of technology along with your talent for navigating computer platforms. Beyond proving that you possess these hard skills, you’ll shine if you can also highlight two or three people skills. Provide relatable examples. Strong verbal communication and unwavering integrity are two skills with particular relevance to careers in finance. Beyond that, it’s always a good idea to remember that every job involves interacting with people. People skills are always in demand. Ideally, you will perfectly match your skills with the skills needed in the job of your dreams. For those skills that you already possess, be sure to describe them in the exact way they’re stated on a job posting. As for the skills you don’t possess, put a plan in place to acquire them.

4. Carve out a Path for Mastering New Skills

The radically changing nature of most industries today can actually work in your favor. Even veteran workers in professions such as consumer electronics, retail and service industries, to name a few, need to re-educate themselves to stay on top of the changing way business is conducted in today’s technological world. Still, before you spend the time and money on any program, check out reviews by previous students, ask colleagues for recommendations, and carefully read the course descriptions. Here're some options for you to master new skills:

Online Courses

If you’re a self-starter who is pressed for time, online courses may be the easiest way to pick up needed skills for the job you’re after. Online courses run the gamut from providing a quick 2 to 3 hour introduction to a potential career path to offering specific training. Some online programs even reward you with a full-blown degree from a prestigious university. Do you dream of wading into the cyber security field? Today you can earn a Bachelor of Science in Security and Risk Analysis from Penn State completely online! You’ll need to finish coursework by the stated deadlines, but be able to do the work in the timeslots most available to your schedule.

Continuing Education Courses

Another route to acquiring new skills for a midlife career change is to take continuing education courses at a local university or community college. Weekly, in-person classes will allow you to keep your day job. Consider discussing your goals with your boss. Some companies encourage continuous learning. Home Depot, for example, offers employees up to $5,000 toward approved courses. Ask your supervisor whether your company has an educational assistance program. You will save your hard-earned money, and your employer will be investing in a very important asset: You.

Career Training Programs

Many high-skilled, high-paying careers require a specialized industry certification. Moreover, today’s career training programs are a far cry from the vocational education centers of the past. They’re now driven by technology and often taught by instructors working in the field. These programs are career-focused and can be completed faster than traditional community college and four-year college programs. It’s often possible to set up a class schedule that includes online, evening, or weekend classes.

Academic Degree Programs

If you decide to go all-in and enroll in an academic degree program (MBA, MFA or other), discuss low-residency options with your academic counselor that will allow you to earn the degree while being flexible about hours spent inside a classroom. Fellowship programs, while intensely competitive, can fully fund a master’s degree in some fields.

5. Attract Notice Through Smart Networking

Along with gaining requisite skills, you’ll need to ramp up a robust networking campaign. Seventy to eighty percent of jobs never reach the open market in an online listing. Why? Because the jobs are filled before they go public. When you network, which, broadly speaking, means reaching out to employers and employees in the field of your dreams, you increase your chances of hearing about a job long before it hits the open market. Smart networking means taking a two-pronged approach: First, target your friends, acquaintances, and industry connections who may be able to give you a foothold for making a contact inside a particular firm. While it may be considered old-fashioned to tap your organically grown network, it still comes with the best odds of success. Make a point of meeting face-to-face with anyone who can offer you a lead or provide a reference. You never know what kind of opportunity will unfold from these offline connections. For a midlife career change, face to face networking is a great strategy to pursue. But don’t stop there. Employ social media, which will exponentially increase your networking opportunities. Today, first impressions are mostly made in cyberspace. Making a strong online impression through a carefully curated social media profile may attract hiring managers and recruiters to you.

The Bottom Line

In conclusion, every good match comes down to a “speed date.” Throughout your career transition, you’ll be working to effectively make the case that your skills are the skills that your dream company needs. Just like speed dating, where strangers make snap decisions on your “date-ability,” employers will decide your hire-ability in less time than it takes to eat lunch. With both, first impressions are key.

More Articles About Career Change

• Signs You Need a Career Change (And How to Change for Success)
• Signs You Need a Career Change at 30 (And How to Make It Successful)
• How to Make a Career Change at 40 and Stop Feeling Stagnant at Work
• Why a Career Change at 50 Is a Great Opportunity & How to Make It Work
• How to Write a Career Change Resume (With Examples)
• How to Write a Cover Letter for a Career Change (Step-By-Step Guide)

from Lifehack - Feed http://bit.ly/2LU53mV

How to Swiftly Make a Midlife Career Change

You wonder how they did it... How did your friend, a librarian at your public library, snag the fabulous marketing job at a digital ad agency? And how did the TV producer you’re acquainted with just become the prestigious publisher of an online parenting magazine? While you were watching “Game of Thrones,” how did so many of your peers manage to make a midlife career change that landed them in exciting new jobs? One thing your friends probably didn’t do: listen to the naysayers. There will always be some well-meaning family member or acquaintance who will counsel you against any sort of career change, saying it’s too big a risk. Aren’t your mid-30's to early 50's meant to be your optimal earning years where you advance up the ladder in your current field, this person may argue. Why would you want to sacrifice spectacular earnings for the paltry paycheck you will likely earn when you change careers? Because maybe it’s not all about money. Maybe you’ve decided that your chosen career path doesn’t have the allure it once had. Or maybe the change you’re after is about money! You realize that you’ve already reached the pinnacle of your earning potential at a figure well short of your original goal. Instead of being held back by this fact, it forces you to really examine your long-term career trajectory. Below, find your 5-Point Plan for how to swiftly make a midlife career change.

1. Allow Yourself the Luxury to Dream Big

Now that the idea has taken hold, what is your next step? You may have to reckon with financial responsibilities such as a home mortgage, a car payment, and a family to support, so making a rash move isn’t in your best interest. Still, give yourself the luxury of dreaming big. Give some thought to what your ideal career looks like: What’s your perfect job title? What responsibilities will make up your workday? What qualities would make for an outstanding boss and great colleagues? Make a list, and refer back to it as you consider new opportunities.

2. Do Your Due Diligence on Your Midlife Career Change

Next, do your homework. Understand the fundamentals of your dream job so there won’t be any unwelcome surprises later. Find out whether this occupation offers a respectable starting salary and is in a growth cycle. Explore any additional educational requirements and available programs. In this investigative stage, take an inventory of all the hard and soft job skills you have to offer. You probably have more transferable skills than you realize. For example, if you’ve been teaching high school science but want to venture into the medical research field, your classroom experience may have more crossover potential than you first thought. A scientist working in a medical university lab, for instance, may oversee undergraduates helping to carry out the research. Similarly, strong communications skills honed from teaching classes may make you a whiz at presenting research findings.

3. Think of Yourself as a Matchmaker

Look at job postings for your dream position -- and for a tier or two below it if you’ll need to work your way up. Consider how to adapt your abilities to the job requirements. Think of yourself as a professional matchmaker, creating a match between yourself and your potential employer. Pinpoint and promote those traits that make you most desirable, and know how to put your best attributes forward. Employers will be attracted to your technical expertise, but also to your people skills -- the soft skills that make you a good communicator, a reliable team player, and a value-driven employee. Suppose that you’re applying for a financial analyst or financial planner position. Hopefully you’ve earned a bachelor’s degree in a major that qualifies you, such as business or economics. Then showcase your accounting skills, analytical acuity, and dexterity with a spreadsheet. Many firms have their own software, so you’ll want to plug your overall knowledge of technology along with your talent for navigating computer platforms. Beyond proving that you possess these hard skills, you’ll shine if you can also highlight two or three people skills. Provide relatable examples. Strong verbal communication and unwavering integrity are two skills with particular relevance to careers in finance. Beyond that, it’s always a good idea to remember that every job involves interacting with people. People skills are always in demand. Ideally, you will perfectly match your skills with the skills needed in the job of your dreams. For those skills that you already possess, be sure to describe them in the exact way they’re stated on a job posting. As for the skills you don’t possess, put a plan in place to acquire them.

4. Carve out a Path for Mastering New Skills

The radically changing nature of most industries today can actually work in your favor. Even veteran workers in professions such as consumer electronics, retail and service industries, to name a few, need to re-educate themselves to stay on top of the changing way business is conducted in today’s technological world. Still, before you spend the time and money on any program, check out reviews by previous students, ask colleagues for recommendations, and carefully read the course descriptions. Here're some options for you to master new skills:

Online Courses

If you’re a self-starter who is pressed for time, online courses may be the easiest way to pick up needed skills for the job you’re after. Online courses run the gamut from providing a quick 2 to 3 hour introduction to a potential career path to offering specific training. Some online programs even reward you with a full-blown degree from a prestigious university. Do you dream of wading into the cyber security field? Today you can earn a Bachelor of Science in Security and Risk Analysis from Penn State completely online! You’ll need to finish coursework by the stated deadlines, but be able to do the work in the timeslots most available to your schedule.

Continuing Education Courses

Another route to acquiring new skills for a midlife career change is to take continuing education courses at a local university or community college. Weekly, in-person classes will allow you to keep your day job. Consider discussing your goals with your boss. Some companies encourage continuous learning. Home Depot, for example, offers employees up to $5,000 toward approved courses. Ask your supervisor whether your company has an educational assistance program. You will save your hard-earned money, and your employer will be investing in a very important asset: You.

Career Training Programs

Many high-skilled, high-paying careers require a specialized industry certification. Moreover, today’s career training programs are a far cry from the vocational education centers of the past. They’re now driven by technology and often taught by instructors working in the field. These programs are career-focused and can be completed faster than traditional community college and four-year college programs. It’s often possible to set up a class schedule that includes online, evening, or weekend classes.

Academic Degree Programs

If you decide to go all-in and enroll in an academic degree program (MBA, MFA or other), discuss low-residency options with your academic counselor that will allow you to earn the degree while being flexible about hours spent inside a classroom. Fellowship programs, while intensely competitive, can fully fund a master’s degree in some fields.

5. Attract Notice Through Smart Networking

Along with gaining requisite skills, you’ll need to ramp up a robust networking campaign. Seventy to eighty percent of jobs never reach the open market in an online listing. Why? Because the jobs are filled before they go public. When you network, which, broadly speaking, means reaching out to employers and employees in the field of your dreams, you increase your chances of hearing about a job long before it hits the open market. Smart networking means taking a two-pronged approach: First, target your friends, acquaintances, and industry connections who may be able to give you a foothold for making a contact inside a particular firm. While it may be considered old-fashioned to tap your organically grown network, it still comes with the best odds of success. Make a point of meeting face-to-face with anyone who can offer you a lead or provide a reference. You never know what kind of opportunity will unfold from these offline connections. For a midlife career change, face to face networking is a great strategy to pursue. But don’t stop there. Employ social media, which will exponentially increase your networking opportunities. Today, first impressions are mostly made in cyberspace. Making a strong online impression through a carefully curated social media profile may attract hiring managers and recruiters to you.

The Bottom Line

In conclusion, every good match comes down to a “speed date.” Throughout your career transition, you’ll be working to effectively make the case that your skills are the skills that your dream company needs. Just like speed dating, where strangers make snap decisions on your “date-ability,” employers will decide your hire-ability in less time than it takes to eat lunch. With both, first impressions are key.

More Articles About Career Change

• Signs You Need a Career Change (And How to Change for Success)
• Signs You Need a Career Change at 30 (And How to Make It Successful)
• How to Make a Career Change at 40 and Stop Feeling Stagnant at Work
• Why a Career Change at 50 Is a Great Opportunity & How to Make It Work
• How to Write a Career Change Resume (With Examples)
• How to Write a Cover Letter for a Career Change (Step-By-Step Guide)

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How to Swiftly Make a Midlife Career Change

You wonder how they did it... How did your friend, a librarian at your public library, snag the fabulous marketing job at a digital ad agency? And how did the TV producer you’re acquainted with just become the prestigious publisher of an online parenting magazine? While you were watching “Game of Thrones,” how did so many of your peers manage to make a midlife career change that landed them in exciting new jobs? One thing your friends probably didn’t do: listen to the naysayers. There will always be some well-meaning family member or acquaintance who will counsel you against any sort of career change, saying it’s too big a risk. Aren’t your mid-30's to early 50's meant to be your optimal earning years where you advance up the ladder in your current field, this person may argue. Why would you want to sacrifice spectacular earnings for the paltry paycheck you will likely earn when you change careers? Because maybe it’s not all about money. Maybe you’ve decided that your chosen career path doesn’t have the allure it once had. Or maybe the change you’re after is about money! You realize that you’ve already reached the pinnacle of your earning potential at a figure well short of your original goal. Instead of being held back by this fact, it forces you to really examine your long-term career trajectory. Below, find your 5-Point Plan for how to swiftly make a midlife career change.

1. Allow Yourself the Luxury to Dream Big

Now that the idea has taken hold, what is your next step? You may have to reckon with financial responsibilities such as a home mortgage, a car payment, and a family to support, so making a rash move isn’t in your best interest. Still, give yourself the luxury of dreaming big. Give some thought to what your ideal career looks like: What’s your perfect job title? What responsibilities will make up your workday? What qualities would make for an outstanding boss and great colleagues? Make a list, and refer back to it as you consider new opportunities.

2. Do Your Due Diligence on Your Midlife Career Change

Next, do your homework. Understand the fundamentals of your dream job so there won’t be any unwelcome surprises later. Find out whether this occupation offers a respectable starting salary and is in a growth cycle. Explore any additional educational requirements and available programs. In this investigative stage, take an inventory of all the hard and soft job skills you have to offer. You probably have more transferable skills than you realize. For example, if you’ve been teaching high school science but want to venture into the medical research field, your classroom experience may have more crossover potential than you first thought. A scientist working in a medical university lab, for instance, may oversee undergraduates helping to carry out the research. Similarly, strong communications skills honed from teaching classes may make you a whiz at presenting research findings.

3. Think of Yourself as a Matchmaker

Look at job postings for your dream position -- and for a tier or two below it if you’ll need to work your way up. Consider how to adapt your abilities to the job requirements. Think of yourself as a professional matchmaker, creating a match between yourself and your potential employer. Pinpoint and promote those traits that make you most desirable, and know how to put your best attributes forward. Employers will be attracted to your technical expertise, but also to your people skills -- the soft skills that make you a good communicator, a reliable team player, and a value-driven employee. Suppose that you’re applying for a financial analyst or financial planner position. Hopefully you’ve earned a bachelor’s degree in a major that qualifies you, such as business or economics. Then showcase your accounting skills, analytical acuity, and dexterity with a spreadsheet. Many firms have their own software, so you’ll want to plug your overall knowledge of technology along with your talent for navigating computer platforms. Beyond proving that you possess these hard skills, you’ll shine if you can also highlight two or three people skills. Provide relatable examples. Strong verbal communication and unwavering integrity are two skills with particular relevance to careers in finance. Beyond that, it’s always a good idea to remember that every job involves interacting with people. People skills are always in demand. Ideally, you will perfectly match your skills with the skills needed in the job of your dreams. For those skills that you already possess, be sure to describe them in the exact way they’re stated on a job posting. As for the skills you don’t possess, put a plan in place to acquire them.

4. Carve out a Path for Mastering New Skills

The radically changing nature of most industries today can actually work in your favor. Even veteran workers in professions such as consumer electronics, retail and service industries, to name a few, need to re-educate themselves to stay on top of the changing way business is conducted in today’s technological world. Still, before you spend the time and money on any program, check out reviews by previous students, ask colleagues for recommendations, and carefully read the course descriptions. Here're some options for you to master new skills:

Online Courses

If you’re a self-starter who is pressed for time, online courses may be the easiest way to pick up needed skills for the job you’re after. Online courses run the gamut from providing a quick 2 to 3 hour introduction to a potential career path to offering specific training. Some online programs even reward you with a full-blown degree from a prestigious university. Do you dream of wading into the cyber security field? Today you can earn a Bachelor of Science in Security and Risk Analysis from Penn State completely online! You’ll need to finish coursework by the stated deadlines, but be able to do the work in the timeslots most available to your schedule.

Continuing Education Courses

Another route to acquiring new skills for a midlife career change is to take continuing education courses at a local university or community college. Weekly, in-person classes will allow you to keep your day job. Consider discussing your goals with your boss. Some companies encourage continuous learning. Home Depot, for example, offers employees up to $5,000 toward approved courses. Ask your supervisor whether your company has an educational assistance program. You will save your hard-earned money, and your employer will be investing in a very important asset: You.

Career Training Programs

Many high-skilled, high-paying careers require a specialized industry certification. Moreover, today’s career training programs are a far cry from the vocational education centers of the past. They’re now driven by technology and often taught by instructors working in the field. These programs are career-focused and can be completed faster than traditional community college and four-year college programs. It’s often possible to set up a class schedule that includes online, evening, or weekend classes.

Academic Degree Programs

If you decide to go all-in and enroll in an academic degree program (MBA, MFA or other), discuss low-residency options with your academic counselor that will allow you to earn the degree while being flexible about hours spent inside a classroom. Fellowship programs, while intensely competitive, can fully fund a master’s degree in some fields.

5. Attract Notice Through Smart Networking

Along with gaining requisite skills, you’ll need to ramp up a robust networking campaign. Seventy to eighty percent of jobs never reach the open market in an online listing. Why? Because the jobs are filled before they go public. When you network, which, broadly speaking, means reaching out to employers and employees in the field of your dreams, you increase your chances of hearing about a job long before it hits the open market. Smart networking means taking a two-pronged approach: First, target your friends, acquaintances, and industry connections who may be able to give you a foothold for making a contact inside a particular firm. While it may be considered old-fashioned to tap your organically grown network, it still comes with the best odds of success. Make a point of meeting face-to-face with anyone who can offer you a lead or provide a reference. You never know what kind of opportunity will unfold from these offline connections. For a midlife career change, face to face networking is a great strategy to pursue. But don’t stop there. Employ social media, which will exponentially increase your networking opportunities. Today, first impressions are mostly made in cyberspace. Making a strong online impression through a carefully curated social media profile may attract hiring managers and recruiters to you.

The Bottom Line

In conclusion, every good match comes down to a “speed date.” Throughout your career transition, you’ll be working to effectively make the case that your skills are the skills that your dream company needs. Just like speed dating, where strangers make snap decisions on your “date-ability,” employers will decide your hire-ability in less time than it takes to eat lunch. With both, first impressions are key.

More Articles About Career Change

• Signs You Need a Career Change (And How to Change for Success)
• Signs You Need a Career Change at 30 (And How to Make It Successful)
• How to Make a Career Change at 40 and Stop Feeling Stagnant at Work
• Why a Career Change at 50 Is a Great Opportunity & How to Make It Work
• How to Write a Career Change Resume (With Examples)
• How to Write a Cover Letter for a Career Change (Step-By-Step Guide)

from Lifehack - Feed http://bit.ly/2LU53mV